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Writing Samples
Band 6

When employers choose the best person for job they should consider personal qualities, rather than qualifications and experience. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In
this
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 developed world the corporation opts to hire a person who involves personal
qualities
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instead
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 of having a diploma and
work
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 experience. Personally, I agree that employers have the right to choose a problem solver and quality person
than
Change preposition
over
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 a high student degree.
this
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 essay will discuss that I feel that for two reasons which I will explore in the following essay.
Initially
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, the proprietor faces many issues with graduate students in the
work
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 because often the employers quest on personal
qualities
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 to enhance their company from different aspects
in addition
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 self-explanatory
people
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 engaged with multi-tasks suitably.
For example
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, The Co-Founder of Tesla hires only talented
people
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 without any qualifications or diplomas required because those kinds of
people
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 are willing to
work
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 ambitiously.
Hence
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, they have a mix of knowledge
in contrast
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 personal
qualities
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 are the primary requirement. despite
this
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, there are a number of significant benefits of choosing a high-quality man or woman as well in the right position to fill the gap in your company,
therefore
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, self-educated
people
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 are required worldwide because they are flexible for receiving new duties and outpace quickly.
For example
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, my sister evolved her company gradually
then
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 he began to hire only quality
people
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.
Moreover
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, she didn't require any
work
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 experience
therefore
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 the worker must be enthusiastic.
To conclude
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, it is frequently said that the director prefers to choose a high-quality person for
work
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instead
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 of hiring a master's degree human.
Nevertheless
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, experienced workers have no idea about problem-solving or relationships with clients
while
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 personal
qualities
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 could
work
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 in all positions tremendously. I strongly believe that supports my point of view.

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Task Achievement
Focus on creating a stronger introduction and conclusion that precisely address the task and clearly summarize your argument. Ensure that you restate the topic, making it clear where you stand on the issue, and offer a concise summarization of the main points in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve your essay's structure by better organizing your ideas into clear paragraphs with introductory sentences, supporting evidence, and concluding remarks. Pay attention to the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs to make your argument more persuasive.
Lexical Resource
Utilize a wider range of vocabulary and try to avoid repetition. Aim for precise and nuanced words that effectively convey your points and reflect the complexity of the topic at hand.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Increase the complexity of your grammar by including a variety of sentence structures, such as complex sentences and a mix of simple and compound sentences. Aim for accuracy and control in your grammar usage to reduce the number of errors and enhance the clarity of your writing.
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