The main aim of advertising is increasing sales of products that people do not really need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#aim #sales #products #people

Some people believe that many companies post advertisements just to boost the sales of their items which are not too necessary for customers.

While

I believe that there are some reasons

can

Correct pronoun usage

that can

show examples

be used to explain

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

idea, I

also

argue that the opposite

Change to the active voice

also prevails

has also prevailed

show examples

also

prevailed. On the one hand, it is a normal situation which occurs in many firms.

To begin

with,

this

is a way for them to survive in the business market. As the economic industry is undergoing

Remove the article

apply

show examples

rapid growth, many enterprises have appeared and

this

makes it more challenging for each of them to have a good position in the market.

As a result

, selling more products will be a backbone for them to stay alive. Another explanation is advertising things which are not too vital for buyers is

also

a method to publicize the image of one firm. More precisely, marketing silly items can impress people with a unique picture of a group.

For example

, a household company can spread its name to the public by commercializing more special creations apart from domestic appliances

On the other hand

, it may be

wrong

Change the article

the wrong

show examples

path for companies.

Initially

, useless outcomes are just a minor part

composing

Change preposition

of composing

show examples

the profit of a firm. The chairman of a business should not rely just on the mentioned items to run his company as the profit claimed from

this

acts as an additional income.

Moreover

, a false impression can be set on the group if they advertise

this

kind of invention. Announcing and trading

this

invention is a side field of them.

However

, if

this

field becomes successful, customers will forget the major categories

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

lead

Wrong verb form

leading

show examples

to a decrease in profit. In conclusion, it will be a great method for people to have a left-hand field to earn a living as it brings money and popularize the corporation’s image but it is not the main income and it can make humans have a misunderstanding about the organization.

Submitted by quynhtranhbh on Fri Nov 10 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure your essay has a clear structure including introduction, fully developed body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Transition words should be used effectively to guide the reader through your arguments.

task achievement

Your essay should address all parts of the task. Offer a clear position and support your ideas with relevant, specific examples. Your arguments need to be well-developed and fully answer the question.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

328 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The main aim of advertising is increasing sales of products that people do not really need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You have decided to leave your current job and look for a new one. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter explain why you want to leave your current job describe what kind of job you are looking for ask for some help or advice

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building the live in. What are the reason for this? How can people research this?

Some people think that finding a job satisfaction is considered the most important thing for the young generation nowadays. Do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint?

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Nowadays teenagers are suffering from a lot of pressure. Write an essay of about 250 words to list the cause of teen pressure and give solutions.