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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the favorite sport of people from the US between 1985 and 2015

The graph below shows the favorite sport of people from the US between 1985 and 2015
The given line graph illustrates the comparison of 5 favourite
sports
Use synonyms
 of US citizens for 30
Years
Use synonyms
 from 1985 to 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, three kinds of
sports
Use synonyms
 ( football, basketball and other
sports
Use synonyms
) experienced an increase in the percentage of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 who played those
sports
Use synonyms
 over 30
years
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the number of American
people
Use synonyms
 who are attracted to
baseball
Use synonyms
 and hockey decreased gradually during the given period. Looking into the details,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 from 1985 football was the most popular sport with almost 38 % of society
then
Linking Words
 increased slightly to almost 40 % of citizens before declining slightly to 35 % in 2000. After 5
years
Use synonyms
 the
figure
Use synonyms
 rose to roughly 42 % and
then
Linking Words
 remained steady until 2015. Starting from first and third position other
sports
Use synonyms
 and basketball had 5 % and 15 %
people
Use synonyms
 who interested with
this
Linking Words
sports
Use synonyms
. In around 2004 other
sports
Use synonyms
 overtook hockey to become fourth place and
then
Linking Words
 continued to jump up to almost 25 % in 2015
while
Linking Words
 basketball had a slight decrease
figure
Use synonyms
 from 1985 to 1990 and
then
Linking Words
 fluctuated from 15 % population in 1995 to almost 20 % in 2005.
finally
Linking Words
,
This
Linking Words
figure
Use synonyms
 overtook
baseball
Use synonyms
 in around 2010 at approximately 22 % and occupied second place in 2015 with almost 25 %
people
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, starting from the second position population, the passion of UK citizens for
baseball
Use synonyms
 tended to decrease from 35 % in 1985 to just under 20 % making it occupy the third position.
Likewise
Linking Words
, in
baseball
Use synonyms
, in 1985 10 % of American
people
Use synonyms
 joined hockey.
This
Linking Words
figure
Use synonyms
 remained constant after 10
years
Use synonyms
 before decreasing slightly to just under 5 % during the end of the period.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sports, years, people, baseball, figure with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 4 times.
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