Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Thanks to
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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technology every single part of
lives
Correct article usage
the lives

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of people
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has

It seems that the verb have does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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changed
which
Correct word choice
and

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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the same can be said for the
time
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of
Change preposition
apply

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some
children
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

spending
Wrong verb form
spend

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb spending. Consider changing it.

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on their smartphones.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

provide
Change the verb form
provides

The plural verb provide does not appear to agree with the singular subject This. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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a
lorge
Correct your spelling
large

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number of merits and e few demerits that
this
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essay
discuss
Correct subject-verb agreement
discusses

It seems that the verb discuss does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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about
Remove the preposition
apply

The preposition about seems unecessary after the verb discuss. Consider removing the preposition.

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them
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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. The Internet has facilitated human lives in many aspects.
For example
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, nowadays people can buy everything
in
Change preposition
apply

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online shopping and they
delivere
Correct your spelling
delivered
deliver

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the things to them which can
decreased
Wrong verb form
decrease

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb decreased. Consider changing it.

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air
and
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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pollution and
ofcourse
Correct your spelling
of course

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traffic jams.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it provides a wide variety
online
Change preposition
of online

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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video games that
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can play
in
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones

It seems that phone may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, schools use the Internet to hold
onlineclasses
Correct your spelling
online classes

If you don’t want onlineclasses to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

so
puple
Correct your spelling
pupils

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can utilize their phone to learn
somethings
Correct your spelling
some things

The word somethings doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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and widen their
horizens
Correct your spelling
horizons

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toward the reality of
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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life. because of these provided instances, the
time
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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many
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

spend
Change the verb form
spends

The plural verb spend does not appear to agree with the singular subject time. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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on these smart
gajets
Correct your spelling
gadgets

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.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it has a lot of advantages and disadvantages for the
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. On the one hand, spending
numerous
Fix the agreement mistake
a lot of

It seems that numerous may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

on technological phones
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides

It seems that the verb provide does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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a large number of benefits. First and foremost, people, particularly
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, can
have
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb have appears to be unnecessary here.

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interaction
Replace the word
interact

The word interaction doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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with individuals all around
world
Add an article
the world

The noun phrase world seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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with the aim of sharing their ideas.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they can use some
spactacular
Correct your spelling
spectacular

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websites
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as
you tube
Correct your spelling
youtube

The word you tube seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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to learn any things regardless
their
Change preposition
of their

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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major and their country which is a poor country or a rich country.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is
undenyable
Correct your spelling
undeniable

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that it
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

has e few drawbacks. First of all, it can cause many physical problems for those
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, poor
eye-sight
Correct your spelling
eyesight

The word eye-sight doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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, obesity,
spinal-related
Correct word choice
and spinal-related

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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problems. Because, they have no physical activities during the
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

that they are using their phones.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are some websites which they are not proper for their age like pornography. In general, in the contemporary era,
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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tecchnological
Correct your spelling
technological

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development, some
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

allocate most of their
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to
use
Wrong verb form
using

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb use. Consider changing it.

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their
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones

It seems that smartphone may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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because they can play video
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games

It seems that game may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and participate in useful
claase
Correct your spelling
classes

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with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

verstile
Correct your spelling
versatile

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tool.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

have
Change the verb form
has

The verb have does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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a a lot of pros and
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

csome
Correct your spelling
some
come

If you don’t want csome to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

ons, but I am of the opinion that its pros
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh

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the cons.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Improve logical structure by organizing your ideas more coherently and cohesively. Ensure that your introduction and conclusion adequately address the topic and that your main points are well-supported throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
You need to fully address all aspects of the essay question. Ensure that your response is complete, your ideas are clear and comprehensive, and that you provide relevant and specific examples to support your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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