IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that watching TV is waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Justify your response.

Many
people
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 claim that watching
TV
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 is a waste of
time
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;
however
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, other
people
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 think
that is
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 a great entertainment and source of learning for the family. I firmly believe that watching
TV
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 is a waste of
time
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. The first and foremost reason is that generally, when watching
TV
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, the person is sitting or lying down, which contributes to a sedentary and unhealthy lifestyle, leading to obesity and heart disease. There is no physical effort,
therefore
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, it can impact negatively
people
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’s well-being.
For example
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, nowadays all
TV
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 devices have remote control,
then
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 most
people
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 do not stand up to change the channel of the
TV
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 or to program it, as all can be done by remote control. The second reason is that watching
TV
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 is a passive activity, which offers content without the necessity of critical thinking, inhibiting the ability to solve problems and behaviour skills. It can consume
time
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 and energy that should be used productively with activities that contribute to professional or personal growth.
For instance
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, some children spend a lot of
time
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 watching
TV
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 and do not do homework or study, do not help with household chores, and
that is
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 why they do not develop their full intellectual capacity. Another point that should be considered is that some
people
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, especially retired
people
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, are so focused on the routine of
TV
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 programs that they forget the importance of family and social interaction. They have no relationships and
consequently
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 suffer from feelings of unproductivity and loneliness. An example is my father-in-law, who often after his retirement, spends a long
time
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 in front of the
TV
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.
To sum up
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,
while
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 some
people
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 prefer
TV
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 for entertainment purposes, I share the idea that watching
TV
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 is a waste of
time
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 because it can lead to a sedentary lifestyle, inhibiting critical thinking and behaviour skills,
as well as
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 diminishing social and family interaction.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and well-structured introduction presenting the main points of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure clear and comprehensive development of ideas, with a well-structured conclusion that summarizes the main points.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and cohesive devices to enhance the logical structure of the essay.
task achievement
Ensure your response fully addresses all aspects of the task by providing a balanced and well-developed argument.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your main points, demonstrating a deeper understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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