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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many students like to get involved in extra- curricular activities at university such as social clubs and sports. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?v

#students #extra- #activities #university #clubs #sports #v
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These days, people's lifestyles are so varied from the past, and we can see the young generations who study at universities choose their interactions at extra-curricular like clubs, sports times and so on.
While
 spending
time
 on university
activities
 has several demerits, I still believe that cannot overshadow the benefits. On the one hand, the merits of instituting extra
activities
 are so varied.
Firstly
, you can find a majority of friends who have the same idea as you owing to the fact that when you select a range of items for your free
time
 as same as others you might have the same opinions, about life.
Secondly
, your social behaviour will be improved inasmuch as you spend a lot of
time
 with other populations whose ages are equal to you
instead
 of
time
 with either social media or yourself.
On the other hand
, These kinds of
activities
 have several drawbacks. On the one side, if you invest your
time
 in a number of elements, you won't have a great deal of
time
 to study your lessons; in fact, your whole
time
 is spent on doing items other than lessons. On the other side, if you have a problem with some people in the extra
activities
, it will affect your university
time
.
In other words
, you may have some class with them in the institute
time
 and you cannot focus on your lesson.
To sum up
, being involved in some extra
activities
 has some good points for students to enhance their skills and find friends, yet
this
 option has many bad influences on our lessons. In my opinion, the advantages can eclipse the disadvantages.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use more varied sentence structures, as this can enhance the overall fluency and coherence of your essay.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples to illustrate your points. This will make your argument more convincing and relatable to the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea, and that your ideas progress logically from one to the next.
Task Achievement
Consider expanding on how the benefits of extra-curricular activities might outweigh the drawbacks, providing more detailed analysis.
Task Achievement
The introduction clearly sets up the discussion on extra-curricular activities and their potential pros and cons.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and provides a thoughtful opinion on the topic.
Task Achievement
You have identified both advantages and disadvantages, maintaining a balanced view throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • extra-curricular activities
  • soft skills
  • teamwork
  • leadership
  • communication skills
  • workplace
  • mental and physical well-being
  • stress
  • physical fitness
  • balanced lifestyle
  • academic performance
  • network
  • time mismanagement
  • academic responsibilities
  • financial strain
  • membership fees
  • equipment purchases
  • travel expenses
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