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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that university should be free for all students. Others think that fees are necessary to support high-quality education. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #university #students #fees #support #education
The graphical representation offers a comprehensive exploration of the intricate dynamics surrounding the integration of renewable
energy
 into the broader landscape of total
energy
 supply across four distinct nations during the temporal intervals of 1997, 2000, and 2010. A discernible trend emerges, portraying
Iceland
 as a frontrunner in its unwavering commitment to renewable sources, consistently outpacing its counterparts. Notably,
Iceland
's
trajectory
unfolds
Wrong verb form
unfolded
show examples
 as a steadfast ascent,
initiating
Verb problem
starting
show examples
 at 45% in 1997, escalating to 60% in 2000, and culminating at an impressive 70% by 2010.
This
 remarkable consistency positions
Iceland
 as a vanguard in the global pursuit of sustainable
energy
 solutions. In stark contrast,
Turkey
's renewable
energy
 narrative is characterized by a more intricate and undulating pattern. Hovering just below 40% in 1997, the percentage marginally surpassed 40% in 2000 before undergoing a measured descent to approximately 32% in 2010. These fluctuations,
while
 emblematic of
Turkey
's engagement with renewable
energy
, underscore the multifaceted nature of its journey in
energy
 diversification over the scrutinized period. The
trajectory
 of
Turkey
, punctuated by peaks and troughs, reflects the evolving nature of its approach to renewable
energy
 integration. Meanwhile, Australia and Sweden consistently find themselves occupying the lower echelons of the renewable
energy
 spectrum. Australia's
trajectory
,
initiating
Verb problem
starting
show examples
 at 9% in 1997,
undergoes
Wrong verb form
underwent
show examples
 a gradual and persistent decline, reaching a mere 4% by 2010.
In contrast
, Sweden, commencing at 5% in 1997, showcases a continuous, albeit modest, upward
trajectory
, nearly doubling its initial percentage to reach 10% by the close of the examined decade in 2010. These disparate paths underscore the diversity of global approaches to renewable
energy
 adoption, with each nation navigating its unique
trajectory
 within the broader context of sustainable
energy
 transitions. In summary, the graphical representation provides a nuanced narrative of each nation's evolving stance on renewable
energy
.
Iceland
 emerges as a steadfast leader,
Turkey
 navigates through nuanced fluctuations,
while
 Australia and Sweden persistently occupy the lower rungs of the renewable
energy
 spectrum. The interplay of these trajectories offers valuable insights into the global landscape of sustainable
energy
 transitions over the designated temporal intervals.
Submitted by umark5353 on

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task achievement
The essay fails to address the given topic regarding opinions on university education funding and appears to discuss a completely unrelated subject, the integration of renewable energy. It is essential for candidates to read the prompt carefully and ensure that their essay is entirely relevant to the question asked. Redirecting your focus back to the provided question is crucial.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is structured into paragraphs, the overall logical structure does not align with the given question. Each paragraph should systematically address the prompt, discussing the two views on university education funding and providing a personal opinion. Develop a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion that not only restates the content but also clearly expresses your own standpoint on the issue.
task achievement
The essay provides no relevant examples that support the views on university education funding. To improve the score, include specific examples or evidence that back up each opinion discussed in the essay. Examples can be drawn from real-world scenarios, credible studies, or hypothetical situations that illustrate the points made and enrich the argument presented.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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