IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Illiteracy has traditionally been viewed as largely a problem in developing countries. However, it is becoming apparent that in some developed countries, the illiteracy rate is on the rise. Discuss possible causes for increasing illiteracy rates in developed countries. What effect it may have on society in such countries?

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While
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illiteracy
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 has long been associated with developing
countries
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, there is a concerning trend of
increase
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an increase
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 in
illliteracy
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illiteracy
literacy
rates
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 in some developed nations.
This
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 essay will explore potential causes for
this
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 phenomenon and analyse the potential effects it may have on the
society
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 in these
countries
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. A major factor contributing to the rise in
illiteracy
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 is the educational system's challenges in some developed nations. In pursuit of economic growth and competitiveness, most schools focus on STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Maths) subjects, neglecting language, arts and literature
education
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.
As a consequence
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, many students do not feel interested in continuing their
education
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 as they feel disconnected.
For instance
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, many school dropouts in the USA expressed that they did not like the subjects taught at their schools and attributed to their apathy in
education
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.
Moreover
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, the economic disparities in developed
countries
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 may
also
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 play a role in increasing
in
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apply
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illiteracy
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rates
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. Low-income individuals and marginalised communities often face barriers to accessing quality
education
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 and resources.
As a result
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, they may not have the same opportunities to develop essential literacy skills.
This
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 trend is particularly concerning as it perpetuates a cycle of poverty and limited social mobility,
further
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 exacerbating the
illiteracy
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 issue. The rise in
illiteracy
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rates
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 in developed
countries
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 can have significant repercussions on
society
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. First and foremost, it can hinder economic growth and innovation. Illiterate individuals may face difficulties in acquiring job skills and accessing employment opportunities, leading to decreased productivity and economic potential.
Moreover
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,
illiteracy
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 can widen social inequalities and hinder social cohesion. Those who lack literacy skills may struggle to participate fully in civic life, making it harder for them to engage in politics, culture, and community affairs.
This
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 exclusion may foster division and weaken social bonds within
society
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.
To conclude
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, the increasing
illiteracy
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rates
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 in some developed
countries
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 are a matter of concern. The effects of
illiteracy
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 on
society
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 encompass limitations, reduced social cohesion, and perpetuated inequality. To address
this
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 issue, it is crucial for governments and educational institutions to prioritise literacy
education
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, promote reading culture, and provide equal access to quality
education
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 for all members of
the
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apply
show examples
society
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.

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task achievement
Your essay provides a thorough response to the task, identifying multiple causes and discussing potential effects. However, it would be beneficial to elaborate more on specific examples and statistics to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that you clearly delineate each paragraph and maintain a logical flow from one idea to the next. While your essay is mostly well-organized, there are a few transitions that could be smoother.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly articulated and effectively frame your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay mostly maintains a logical structure, making it easy to follow your points.
task achievement
You have addressed the key points of the task and provided a clear analysis of the causes and effects of increasing illiteracy rates in developed countries.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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