Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
While
some think that adding more and more sports
centres is the most beneficial way to improve the community's health
, others believe that there are better ways to do this
. Although
increasing the number of gyms would motivate people
to exercise more and become healthier, I firmly believe that educating them about health
is far more effective.
On the one hand, building more sports
centres could help to encourage people
to do more physical activities. This
is because several individuals complain about their living location and assume that it is inconvenient to access those facilities
. So, they will have no excuse if there is a gym next to their house or their work. That is
why constructing more sports
facilities
will ensure that a vast majority of people
have easy access to sports
centres and eventually improve their health
. For instance
, in many nations, those sports
facilities
can be seen in almost all parks which attracts many elder people
who have great concern about their health
to exercise regularly every morning. However
, I think that this
is a temporary fix and better steps should be taken.
On the other hand
, educating them about the importance of health
is a better and long-lasting solution. The media should focus on encouraging people
to take good care of their health
as well as
warn them about possible health
diseases such
as heart failure and diabetes. Even in schools, young children should be educated about health
from a young age in order to grow as healthy adults. For example
, the average life expectancy in many countries where education focuses significantly on health
tends to be higher than in countries that do not have any concern. Therefore
, I believe that this
is the best way to maintain and improve the health
of the whole community.
In conclusion, while
increasing the number of sports
facilities
can encourage and facilitate people
to do more exercise and improve their health
, educating them about health
is far more important in the long run.Submitted by blastion05 on
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Task Achievement
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Coherence & Cohesion
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Task Achievement
For a holistic discussion, you might want to briefly acknowledge potential counterarguments to your view and explain why your perspective still holds. This will demonstrate critical thinking and add depth to your analysis.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay presents a clear structure with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Task Achievement
You effectively addressed both views on improving public health and convincingly articulated your own opinion, showing a comprehensive understanding of the task.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your main points are well-supported and easy to follow, contributing effectively to the essay's coherence and cohesion.