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Band 4

As housing is a basic need for people, government should provide free housing for everyone who cant't afford it, To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #cant
It is often argued that housing is a simple condition of humans, people need to be provided free housing by the
government
 because they can not buy it. Many people are very lucky as their parents gave them a house or a flat but a lot of people are not as lucky as them. In my point of view, I agree with that opinion,
however
, it is
also
 difficult for the
government
. On the one hand, the
government
 need to build a variety of house for citizens because of two main reasons.
Firstly
, the number of homeless is so high,
a
Correct word choice
that a
show examples
lot of them lounge around the street, especially without clothes,
thus
 it makes walkers have a scary feeling and it will become a worse image of
this
 city or street.
Secondly
, the winter season is very severe and cold so the homeless have to struggle each night. They get many diseases
such
 as
:
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
heart disease, runny
noses
Fix the agreement mistake
nose
show examples
 or infections.
For example
, my mom is a doctor and she gave me information that the number of homeless
die
Replace the word
deaths
show examples
 more higher because of winter.
On the other hand
, freeing houses is difficult for the
government
 to resources. Homeless are crowded,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
government
 does not have a large of money, time and space to do that purpose.
In addition
, a huge of inhabitants do not volunteer to give money for these ideas. In conclusion,
Submitted by dieuvipham.hd on

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task response
Develop your ideas with more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your ideas more clearly with a stronger introduction and conclusion.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more academic and precise terms to convey your ideas effectively.
grammatical range
Pay closer attention to sentence structure and grammar usage to enhance the clarity and accuracy of your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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