Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or not agree?

#someone #luck

It is argued that people achieve their

goal

Fix the agreement mistake

goals

show examples

mostly by

luck

. I conjecture that

luck

is not the main, but an important factor of any achievement. In my opinion,in order to reach your goals you have to obtain certain personal traits of character. Different qualities are needed for different purposes. As an illustration, to become a professional sportsman a person should be hardworking and persistent.

However

, to debut as a professional player and join a professional club you have to become a media person or be noticed by some club. In that case, fortune can actually help you to achieve a great deal in your life.

Nevertheless

, if you do not give up, you most likely will accomplish something. There are many professions where

luck

does not matter. So if you do your best

then

you are going to be successful in

this

sphere.

For instance

, professions

Correct quantifier usage

such as

show examples

: surgeon, designer, architect or writer. Wishing to become an excellent doctor you must study hard, do a lot of

practicing

Change the spelling

practising

show examples

attend

Correct word choice

and attend

show examples

many lectures by much more experienced doctors, and only

then

can you become a qualified doctor.

Therefore

, if you improve your skills, keep learning and never back down, all your purposes will be reached.

To sum up

, I consider that fortune can support you in achieving your goals,

although

it is not the kind of thing to count on. So, I do not agree that someone achieves goals with much

luck

. Probably,

luck

actually

Rephrase

apply

show examples

can contribute to achieving your aims, but only a small part.

Submitted by mrtwaterr on Fri Nov 10 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

You provided a good response to the prompt and expressed your opinion clearly. However, the examples provided could be more diverse and detailed to further support your argument.

coherence and cohesion

The logical structure of your essay is clear, and the introduction and conclusion are well-presented. Work on transitions within paragraphs and linking ideas to improve coherence and cohesion.

lexical resource

You have a varied vocabulary and utilized appropriate words to convey your ideas. Try to include more academic and precise vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource.

grammatical range

Your grammar is generally accurate, but there are instances of awkward phrasing and some minor errors. Aim for more complex sentence structures and pay attention to subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
rio: You need to take a few days off from work for a family emergency. Write a letter to your employer formally requesting time off and explaining the situation.
I am writing to formally request a period of time off from work due to a family emergency. I understand the importance of my role at [Company Name] and the responsibilities that come with it, and I am committed to ensuring a smooth transition during my absence.
4.5
band
You recently bought a piece of equipment for your kitchen but it did not work. You phoned the shop but no action was taken.
I am writing with regard to an appliance that I recently bought from your shop.
5
band
The desire for higher status or great wealth than others is what motivate most people to succeed in the world. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?
I am completely agree that, the motivation to success for individuals is produced by their willingness to achive a greater position or better income. This caused by multi function parameters like family, society, psychology to name a few. In this essay I will disscus around the education, psychology and family aspects.
7.5
band
Some people think that good health is a basic human need, so the medical service should not be run by profit-making companies. Do you think the disadvantages of private-health care outweigh the advantages?
Due to the rising awareness of health quality, the demands of seeking healthcare treatments are increased, leading to the expansion of medical services supply. Despite the argument of whether corporate-run healthcare should provide clinical care or not, I believe these companies create more benefits than disadvantages.
6.5
band
People believe that these days there is a general increase in anti-social behaviour and lack of respect for others. What might have caused this? How to improve this?
It is true that an increasing number of the population in modern society can be observed with ill-mannered attitudes and anti-social behaviours. From my perspective, this tendency can be attributed to the lack of proper guidance from parents and the increasing use of social media; however, manners can still be implemented to ameliorate the existing problem.

Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or not agree?

Fully explain your ideas

rio: You need to take a few days off from work for a family emergency. Write a letter to your employer formally requesting time off and explaining the situation.

You recently bought a piece of equipment for your kitchen but it did not work. You phoned the shop but no action was taken.

The desire for higher status or great wealth than others is what motivate most people to succeed in the world. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that good health is a basic human need, so the medical service should not be run by profit-making companies. Do you think the disadvantages of private-health care outweigh the advantages?

People believe that these days there is a general increase in anti-social behaviour and lack of respect for others. What might have caused this? How to improve this?