Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or not agree?

It is argued that people achieve their
goal
Fix the agreement mistake
goals
show examples
mostly by
luck
. I conjecture that
luck
is not the main, but an important factor of any achievement. In my opinion,in order to reach your goals you have to obtain certain personal traits of character. Different qualities are needed for different purposes. As an illustration, to become a professional sportsman a person should be hardworking and persistent.
However
, to debut as a professional player and join a professional club you have to become a media person or be noticed by some club. In that case, fortune can actually help you to achieve a great deal in your life.
Nevertheless
, if you do not give up, you most likely will accomplish something. There are many professions where
luck
does not matter. So if you do your best
then
you are going to be successful in
this
sphere.
For instance
, professions
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
: surgeon, designer, architect or writer. Wishing to become an excellent doctor you must study hard, do a lot of
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
,
attend
Correct word choice
and attend
show examples
many lectures by much more experienced doctors, and only
then
can you become a qualified doctor.
Therefore
, if you improve your skills, keep learning and never back down, all your purposes will be reached.
To sum up
, I consider that fortune can support you in achieving your goals,
although
it is not the kind of thing to count on. So, I do not agree that someone achieves goals with much
luck
. Probably,
luck
actually
Rephrase
apply
show examples
can contribute to achieving your aims, but only a small part.
Submitted by mrtwaterr on

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task response
You provided a good response to the prompt and expressed your opinion clearly. However, the examples provided could be more diverse and detailed to further support your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is clear, and the introduction and conclusion are well-presented. Work on transitions within paragraphs and linking ideas to improve coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
You have a varied vocabulary and utilized appropriate words to convey your ideas. Try to include more academic and precise vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource.
grammatical range
Your grammar is generally accurate, but there are instances of awkward phrasing and some minor errors. Aim for more complex sentence structures and pay attention to subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • diligence
  • consistent effort
  • inherent talent
  • honing skills
  • external factors
  • upbringing
  • social connections
  • economic background
  • right place at the right time
  • contributing factor
  • conjunction
  • success
  • achievements
  • endeavors
  • fortune
  • serendipity
  • determinants
  • efficacy
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