Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Prioritising the government's goals is a controversial topic. Many of them assume that economic growth is their main purpose
while
the majority of advocates strongly believe that other types of adaptation are equally important for the public. I personally hold the view that other types of development are important due to
their impact on nations' lives which builds a better population and improves life
quality.
A number of proponents strongly believe that the other progression in a province can affect folks' lives. In other words
, other improvements like a better public transportation system can make the nation happy which leads to having a better society. Consequently
, when the public is able to live in a thrilled environment the governments can control them more easily, which is as important as economic growth.
In addition
to the impact of other improvements on communities, I firmly believe that other adaptations can increase life
's quality as much as economic progress. To clarify, enhancing the healthcare system in a province can mitigate the impact of diseases in the community and death. Not only can it save numerous life
but also
it can help human to have longer life
span. As a result
, it is vital for economic growth in any society.
However
, some may claim that economic enhancement is the most important goal and governments must only concentrate on this
notion. hence
, they say the main responsibility of governments is to build a good source of income for the country and other things that rely on the nation. However
, this
assertion just simply overlooked and they did not pay attention to other human needs which are important when it comes to governing a country.
To sum up
, many properties argue that economic development is their main goal while
the majority of people and I strongly believe that there are other types of improvements that are equally vital in a country because of the effect on society and increase in life
's quality.Submitted by mirhashemim7 on
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Task Response
Provide a more balanced discussion of both views. Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the two opposing views and your opinion. Additionally, develop your ideas more thoroughly and provide specific examples to support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, although the introduction and conclusion could be more developed. Moreover, ensure that each paragraph flows logically from the previous one, and use appropriate linking words to improve coherence.
Lexical Resource
Your use of vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, and there is a need for a wider range of words and phrases. Additionally, you should strive for more precise and accurate word choices to convey your meaning effectively.
Grammatical Range
While your essay demonstrates a reasonable control of grammar, there are several instances of awkward or incorrect phrasing. Work on using a variety of sentence structures and ensure that your sentences are grammatically accurate and well-formed.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.