Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Prioritising the government's goals is a controversial topic. Many of them assume that economic growth is their main purpose
while
Linking Words
the majority of advocates strongly believe that other types of adaptation are equally important for the public. I personally hold the view that other types of development are important
due to
Linking Words
their impact on nations' lives which builds a better population and improves
life
Use synonyms
quality. A number of proponents strongly believe that the other progression in a province can affect folks' lives.
In other words
Linking Words
, other improvements like a better public transportation system can make the nation happy which leads to having a better society.
Consequently
Linking Words
, when the public is able to live in a thrilled environment the governments can control them more easily, which is as important as economic growth.
In addition
Linking Words
to the impact of other improvements on communities, I firmly believe that other adaptations can increase
life
Use synonyms
's quality as much as economic progress. To clarify, enhancing the healthcare system in a province can mitigate the impact of diseases in the community and death. Not only can it save numerous
life
Use synonyms
but
also
Linking Words
it can help human to have longer
life
Use synonyms
span.
As a result
Linking Words
, it is vital for economic growth in any society.
However
Linking Words
, some may claim that economic enhancement is the most important goal and governments must only concentrate on
this
Linking Words
notion.
hence
Linking Words
, they say the main responsibility of governments is to build a good source of income for the country and other things that rely on the nation.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
assertion just simply overlooked and they did not pay attention to other human needs which are important when it comes to governing a country.
To sum up
Linking Words
, many properties argue that economic development is their main goal
while
Linking Words
the majority of people and I strongly believe that there are other types of improvements that are equally vital in a country because of the effect on society and increase in
life
Use synonyms
's quality.
Submitted by mirhashemim7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Provide a more balanced discussion of both views. Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the two opposing views and your opinion. Additionally, develop your ideas more thoroughly and provide specific examples to support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, although the introduction and conclusion could be more developed. Moreover, ensure that each paragraph flows logically from the previous one, and use appropriate linking words to improve coherence.
Lexical Resource
Your use of vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, and there is a need for a wider range of words and phrases. Additionally, you should strive for more precise and accurate word choices to convey your meaning effectively.
Grammatical Range
While your essay demonstrates a reasonable control of grammar, there are several instances of awkward or incorrect phrasing. Work on using a variety of sentence structures and ensure that your sentences are grammatically accurate and well-formed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: