IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter •say why he/she would not enjoy going to college •explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her •suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter ad follows:

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Dear Shanto, I hope you are in sound health and doing well. I am writing
this
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 letter to advise you on whether to go to college or try to get a
job
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. As I know, you recently completed your BBA from Standard College, and your CGPA is outstanding. I heard that you have been trying to
enroll
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enrol
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 in an
MBA
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 program at the same college, which is not a wise decision from my point of view. I think that you will not enjoy your
MBA
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 program
just
Rephrase
apply
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right after completing the
MBA
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 course because the academic environment will make you monotonous. Despite enrolling in an
MBA
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 program, I will suggest you search for a part-time
job
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that is
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 related to your bachelor's degree.
This
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 part-time
job
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 will help you to familiar with the corporate environment
as well as
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 gain professional experience. An internship in a financial institution will be the best option for you which will assist you to get a full-time
job
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 in any financial company in the future.
Moreover
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, you can apply your earned knowledge in
this
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 company to achieve the organizational goals. I truly believe that the above suggestions will help you make the correct decision. Warm wishes, Faisal

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea for better coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Provide a more comprehensive response that directly addresses all aspects of the task prompt.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and expressions to enhance the lexical resource.
grammatical range
Demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures and sentence types to improve grammatical range.
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