IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter •say why he/she would not enjoy going to college •explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her •suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter ad follows:

#friend #advice #college #job #•say #•explain #idea #•suggest #addresses #ad
Dear Shanto, I hope you are in sound health and doing well. I am writing
this
 letter to advise you on whether to go to college or try to get a
job
. As I know, you recently completed your BBA from Standard College, and your CGPA is outstanding. I heard that you have been trying to
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
 in an
MBA
 program at the same college, which is not a wise decision from my point of view. I think that you will not enjoy your
MBA
 program
just
Rephrase
apply
show examples
right after completing the
MBA
 course because the academic environment will make you monotonous. Despite enrolling in an
MBA
 program, I will suggest you search for a part-time
job
that is
 related to your bachelor's degree.
This
 part-time
job
 will help you to familiar with the corporate environment
as well as
 gain professional experience. An internship in a financial institution will be the best option for you which will assist you to get a full-time
job
 in any financial company in the future.
Moreover
, you can apply your earned knowledge in
this
 company to achieve the organizational goals. I truly believe that the above suggestions will help you make the correct decision. Warm wishes, Faisal
Submitted by faisalmahamood on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea for better coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Provide a more comprehensive response that directly addresses all aspects of the task prompt.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and expressions to enhance the lexical resource.
grammatical range
Demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures and sentence types to improve grammatical range.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: