The graph below shows the consumption of 3 spreads from 1981 to 2007.

The graph below shows the consumption of 3 spreads from 1981 to 2007.
The given polyline illustrates how
people
used 3 different types of oil in their food during the period of time 1981 to 2007. The units are measured in
grams
.
Overall
, the utilization of butter was dominant at the beginning of the period
then
it decreased dramatically by the end years.
conversely
, fewer
people
used low fat and reduced spreads in 1996 to increased overwhelmingly till 2001.
Besides
,
margarine
was the kiddo in terms of use by the first years. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
preferred to cook with butter they
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
nearly 141
grams
in 1981 to reach its peak at around 160 in 1986.meanwhile, it dropped significantly to reach
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
100
grams
in 1991
after
Correct word choice
and after
show examples
that it decreased gradually
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
years. The rate of using
margarine
was fluctuating
Wrong verb form
fluctuated
show examples
from the first year to 1991 it remained stable until 1996 they
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
only 100
grams
of it. In 2001,
people
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
consumed low-fat , reduced
soreads
Correct your spelling
spreads
and
margarine
.
only
Capitalize word
Only
show examples
around 83
grams
were consumed by
people
of low-fat,reduced spreads and
margarine
in 1996.
Submitted by ft00m_309 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, grams, margarine with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • spreads
  • increased
  • decreased
  • stable
  • significantly
  • approximately
  • per capita
  • remarkable
  • peaked
  • experienced
  • started
  • remained
What to do next:
Look at other essays: