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Band 4

Some people believe that air travel should be restricted because it causes serious pollution and uses up the world's fuel resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #air #travel #pollution #world #fuel #resources
It is irrefutable that
air
travel
 causes pollution and uses a lot of
fuel
, but I disagree that
air
travel
 should be
ected
Correct your spelling
expected
. I believe that restricting
air
travel
 would solve some problems but would lead to many other problems.
time
Add an article
the time
a time
show examples
 when
people
 all over the world worry about the decreasing level of fossil fuels and global warming, it
right
Add a missing verb
is right
show examples
 to take action to save the planet Earth.
However
,
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
simply
discourage
Wrong verb form
discouraging
show examples
 flights is not the answer.
sternational
Correct your spelling
international
 tourism has become the backbone of many economies of the world. Many
countries
 are earning
tom
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 tourism. Many
people
 are employed in
this
 industry. Many businesses like hotels and leisure centres are
pendent
Correct your spelling
dependent
show examples
 on tourists. So, if we discourage international tourism, it would create new and even worse problems. stany businesses would go broke and many
people
 would be without jobs. Ar flight
also
 enables intercultural exchanges between
countries
. The advent of cheap
air fare
Correct your spelling
airfare
show examples
 makes it possible
to
Correct word choice
for
show examples
people
 the world over to
travel
 regularly, regardless of the purpose of the trip.
Therefore
,
people
 have the
opportunities
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunity
show examples
 to learn from different cultures and have a better understanding of
countries
 they used to be unfamiliar with.
This
, in turn, enhances cultural communications between
countries
. It's true that
air
travel
 consumes all, but other modes of transportation are
also
 causing pollution and using
fuel
.
Dacouraging
Correct your spelling
Discouraging
 private cars and encouraging
people
 to use public transport could help save
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental resources in a big way.
Therefore
, it would be a very
unpractical
Correct your spelling
impractical
show examples
 decision to restrict
air
travel
 at the cost of
people
's mobility, or worse, at the cost of the development of the economy.
Technology
Add an article
The technology
show examples
 could
also
 be used to produce more environmentally friendly and
fuel efficient
Add a hyphen
fuel-efficient
show examples
 engines.
Somming
Correct your spelling
Summing
Coming
 up,
instead
 of restricting
air
travel
, we should develop
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 efficient engine that produces more energy output with less
fuel
 and fewer major
air
 pollutants. We should
also
 focus on limiting private vehicles and encouraging public transport.
Submitted by RANA on

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task response
Develop your main ideas more clearly and provide specific examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Connect your ideas more coherently and ensure your essay has a clear organization with a proper introduction and conclusion.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and varied expressions to convey your ideas effectively.
grammatical range
Work on your sentence structures, punctuation, and grammatical accuracy to enhance the clarity and precision of your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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