In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if a society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

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Recently there has been an argument going on among notions regarding whether an upward trend of having aged or old people is a good sign for society or not. Some believe that

this

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can result in various drawbacks,

while

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others hold the belief that these individuals might be beneficial for a community in some ways. Personally, I am a firm believer that the disadvantages of

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statement outweigh its benefits in a variety of aspects. First and foremost, by having a majority of elders, society has to provide various hospitals and caring places in order to take care of these groups of people in many aspects

such

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as their medications

as well as

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their mental health.

This

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statement would become an issue in the long run, which can make governments spend most of the money coming from taxes to be spent on providing health care places.

In other words

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, there would be no rooms left for other facilities like schools for children or workplaces.

In addition

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to that, these hospitals require a vast majority of doctors and staff to

work

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, which may be a concerning issue for governments to provide a proper number of professionals in

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field.

While

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elders can be beneficial to adolescents regarding their life and

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experience, they would not be eligible to

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since they require care and help 24/7, which can become problematic.

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, if the number of ageing individuals increases, societies will face a lack of workforce. Lack of a proper workforce will put a country in serious danger.

For instance

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, in China, the number of elders is growing rapidly each year

due to

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their large population.

Therefore

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this

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country is facing difficulties in their working industry, and

as a result

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of that, youngsters have to

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more than usual to fully satisfy the needs of companies, which makes them tired and can not

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efficiently.

To sum up

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, I strongly believe that the growth in the ageing population might not be a good sign for communities, since

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group of people are now retired and need great help, which can cause serious problems for a country.

vaniaa.z.h2005Sat Apr 06 2024

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task achievement

Aim to develop your ideas more fully by providing more detailed examples and explanations. This will strengthen the argument and add depth to your essay.

coherence cohesion

Introduce a wider variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. This will help in making your argument more coherent and cohesive.

task achievement

Try to balance the discussion by covering both sides equally, even if you have a clear opinion. This approach ensures a well-rounded argument and meets the task requirements more effectively.

structure

You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is good practice for organizing your essay.

topic engagement

You've successfully touched on the topic from different viewing angles, which demonstrates your ability to engage with a complex issue.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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12
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

354 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ageing population
benefits
disadvantages
advantages
experience
knowledge
contribution
economy
society
healthcare
youth employment
community
intergenerational support
volunteerism
mentorship
increased demand
pension costs
social welfare systems
workforce
productivity
intergenerational conflict
technological adaptability
dependency
effective
skill development
employment opportunities
intergenerational solidarity
communication
lifelong learning
technological literacy
age-friendly
social policies
infrastructure

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

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Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world. What are some of the factors in modern society that cause stress, and how can we reduce it?

More and more people tend to watch foreign movies, so the local government should encourage the development of local film industry. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries today, many people decide to have their first child when they are older. Why? Is it a positive or negative phenomenon?

In some countries, governments are encouraging to people and factories move out in rural areas due to housing and transport issues. Discuss both views and give your personal example.