Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field can have a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some
people
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believe that professional
athletes
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are appropriate role models for young individuals,
while
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others argue that they fail to provide constructive influence.
This
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essay will evaluate both perspectives before presenting a personal viewpoint. On the one hand, professional
athletes
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can serve as inspirational figures
due to
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their dedication, perseverance, and achievements. They often demonstrate strong work ethic, discipline, and the ability to overcome adversity, which are qualities that many young
people
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can admire and emulate.
For example
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,
athletes
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who rise from poverty to international success often illustrate the importance of hard work and resilience.
Moreover
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, many sports figures are involved in philanthropic activities, using their platforms to promote education, health, and social justice,
thus
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making a positive contribution to society.
On the other hand
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, some
athletes
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display controversial
behavior
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behaviour
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such
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as substance abuse, aggression, or misconduct off the field, which can negatively influence impressionable youth. The intense media coverage of
such
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incidents may distort the image of success and prioritize fame over moral integrity.
Furthermore
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, the commercialization of sports has led to some
athletes
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focusing more on endorsements than performance, which may undermine their role as ethical leaders. In my opinion,
while
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not all
athletes
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are ideal role models, many possess admirable attributes that can motivate young
people
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. It is essential for educators and parents to encourage critical thinking so that children can differentiate between admirable
behavior
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behaviour
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and unacceptable actions. In conclusion,
although
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there are valid concerns about some
athletes
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, their influence can be largely beneficial if young
people
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are taught to appreciate their positive traits
while
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recognizing their flaws.

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task achievement
While your arguments are well-structured, consider providing more specific examples in the second viewpoint to strengthen your position. For instance, mentioning well-known athletes who have faced criticism could enhance clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Your use of transitional phrases is effective, but some sentences could be more fluid. Varying sentence structures may improve the overall flow of your essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view, covering both sides of the argument effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and succinct, providing a solid framework for your discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • role model
  • determination
  • discipline
  • work ethic
  • community service
  • charitable activities
  • poor behavior
  • unsportsmanlike conduct
  • media scrutiny
  • public perception
  • materialism
  • physical and mental health issues
  • impressionable youth
  • high levels
  • pursuing sports
  • positive influence
  • negative influence
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