Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field can have a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
One of the most discussed
topic
nowadays is Change to a plural noun
topics
can be
a professional athlete become a role model for young peopleVerb problem
whether
?
Change the punctuation
.
However
, theres
we have no absolute agreement Correct your spelling
there
of
any point of view.
A common belief among Change preposition
on
Correct article usage
the elder
elder
generation is that professional Correct your spelling
older
athletes
popularise healthy
style of life, advertise self-care products and sometimes even work for Correct article usage
a healthy
a
government to do propaganda as Correct article usage
the
they
second job. Most of these facts are actually true and even statistics can prove it. As an example by USA (United Correct pronoun usage
their
Sports
Association) statistics in 2015 almost 43% of professional athletes
were seen in advertisement
at least once. And Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
by
statistics Change preposition
to
of
GMC (Government Monitoring Company) in 2021 more than Change preposition
from
a
half of them Correct article usage
apply
work
for government Wrong verb form
worked
sport
propaganda, even if they Change the noun form
sports
do
not realise it.
That being said, Wrong verb form
did
sometime
people do not accept professional Replace the word
sometimes
athletes
as a favourite person for a young generation. In many cases
it’s mostly Add a comma
cases,
a
speculative persons or non-sport fans. Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
It’s
might Unnecessary verb
It
be
sound absurd, but there are some reasons why some people do not believe Unnecessary verb
apply
to
professional Change preposition
in
athletes
. The first argument says that most of
Change preposition
apply
athletes
use doping as a boost for health and physical abilities, basically
it’s the same thing as Add a comma
basically,
a
cheating in Remove the article
apply
exam
. Add an article
the exam
an exam
By
GMC research in February Change preposition
According to
of
2019, 14% of professional boxers and football players were caught using doping in Change preposition
apply
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
sport competitions
a sport competition
sport
competitions. The second argument says that Change the noun form
sports
athletes
cannot be a
good Correct article usage
apply
tole
Correct your spelling
role
model
because they show their aggression during the competition. In the case of rugby, football and martial Fix the agreement mistake
models
art
Fix the agreement mistake
arts
sports
it is mostly true, but they
are some cases that Correct pronoun usage
there
shows
that Change the verb form
show
sport
can be very calm and relaxing. Fix the agreement mistake
sports
For
example
golf, which is one of the most popular arguments as a relaxing and respectful game Add a comma
example,
sports
.
In conclusion, I think that professional Fix the agreement mistake
sport
athletes
can be good role models for a
young generation. As long as they give us hope, Correct article usage
the
dreams
to become Correct word choice
and dreams
better
and Correct article usage
a better
bright
future for the world of Replace the word
brighter
sports
.Submitted by dnm.best on
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task achievement
Focus on clearer topic sentences to directly address the essay prompt in each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Implement a wider variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for better clarity.
task achievement
You've effectively discussed both views on the topic, showcasing a balanced approach.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively framed your discussion, contributing to a coherent argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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