In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

In a plethora of states, the

extend

Replace the word

extent

show examples

of life is greater than it used to be. A number of

people

Use synonyms

say that older

people

Use synonyms

are problematic for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

governments,

while

Linking Words

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

think that there are some advantages of having

mostly

Add an article

a mostly

show examples

aging population.

This

Linking Words

essay agrees with the first statement, as elderlies can put a lot of pressure on the

economic

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economy

show examples

and the healthcare systems in a country. On the one side, a society

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

consisted

Wrong verb form

consisting

show examples

primarly

Correct your spelling

primarily

Change preposition

show examples

older

people

Use synonyms

, who are still vital, means that they can be involved in the business world without the complications that young

people

Use synonyms

can cause.

In other words

Linking Words

, individuals above

certain

Add an article

a certain

show examples

age do not have little kids to take care of or additional education.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they are disciplined and have the experience, which youngsters don't yet possess.

For example

Linking Words

, my

mother in-law

Add a hyphen

mother-in-law

show examples

is 63, but she is still working and her boss is very happy with her,

due to

Linking Words

her professionalism.

Overall

Linking Words

, an old person can benefit the system if he or she is healthy and able to perform.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

is not the case with most of the elderly

people

Use synonyms

. The

major part

Replace the word

majority

show examples

of them suffer from a number of chronic medical conditions and

therefore

Linking Words

, they are not able to work or to be beneficial members of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

This

Linking Words

results in lots of pressure on the government, especially regarding the economic and healthcare sectors, spending money and time, which could never be brought back.

For instance

Linking Words

, Italy, a country with

mostly

Add an article

a mostly

show examples

old population, made a report in 2020 which

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

showed that the country spends more than 5 million euros per year for pensions and healthcare for

people

Use synonyms

above 65, and if

this

Linking Words

tendency

keep

Change the verb form

keeps

show examples

increasing, the economy of the state will collapse. In conclusion, I think that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages when it comes to government problems, caused by most elderly consisted society.

delulchevaSat Nov 11 2023

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task response

Your essay provides a clear position on the issue and supports it with relevant examples. However, the response to the task could be more comprehensive.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, and the main points are supported with examples. However, the logical structure could be improved to enhance coherence.

lexical resource

Your use of vocabulary is generally effective, but there are some inaccuracies and inconsistencies. Aim for more precise and varied vocabulary to enhance your lexical resource.

grammatical range

There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing present. Aim for more complexity and accuracy in your sentence structures and grammar usage.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

312 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ageing population
benefits
disadvantages
advantages
experience
knowledge
contribution
economy
society
healthcare
youth employment
community
intergenerational support
volunteerism
mentorship
increased demand
pension costs
social welfare systems
workforce
productivity
intergenerational conflict
technological adaptability
dependency
effective
skill development
employment opportunities
intergenerational solidarity
communication
lifelong learning
technological literacy
age-friendly
social policies
infrastructure

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Include an introduction and conclusion

Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should governments give more financial support to local film industries?

If all workers in a company were paid exact same wage regardless of job role there would be much more harmony and cooperation between staff. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start until they are seven or eight. How far do you agree with either of these views?

Some people believe that advertisements targeting children may have negative effects on them, and suggest banning such advertisements as a solution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.