Some people believe that young people bring more profit to the company. Others says that older people actually bring more profits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #profit #company #profits

Employment

Wrong verb form

has been

show examples

inevitable

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an inevitable

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aspect of one's

lives

Fix the agreement mistake

life

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since time

imemmorial

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immemorial

. Masses of people

beleive

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believe

that young employers make more money rather than older

whreas

Correct your spelling

whereas

others assert that aged

one's

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ones

show examples

get more profit in their company or firms. I my

openion

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opinion

that the first

nortion

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portion

notion

outweighting

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outweighing

out weighting

than other

phenominon

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phenomenon

. On the one hand. There are enormous

casuative

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causative

factors behind

this

factor. First and

formost

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foremost

is that

yougsters

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youngsters

are more skilled and very

knowlegable

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knowledgeable

persons

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people

show examples

in the

cutting- edge

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cutting-edge

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era as they get proper education as well proper technical skills in our

accadamics

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academics

For instance

, a recent study depicts that

good

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a good

show examples

persentage

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percentage

of companies require less than 40

year

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years

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aged workers. Supporting the other view that older persons are well

expericed

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experienced

and they know past things in their companies which would help firm's development and profit. Because of that, the owners of the institution is provided high

salary

Fix the agreement mistake

salaries

show examples

for the aged

worker's

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workers

show examples

. As

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

employers are verge of

retirment

Correct your spelling

retirement

, they want

high

Correct article usage

a high

show examples

income to reduce their family burden. To recapitulate,the job has been

major

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a major

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concern of every life. As l am concerned,

new

Correct article usage

the new

show examples

generation

bring

Change the verb form

brings

show examples

more profit

Change preposition

show examples

their company because they are

high

Replace the word

highly

show examples

skilled

Submitted by shahinka.687 on Sat Nov 11 2023

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coherence and cohesion

Work on organizing your ideas more clearly. Ensure that your introduction presents a clear thesis statement, and that your conclusion effectively sums up your main points and restates your opinion.

task achievement

Focus on providing a more complete response that addresses all aspects of the task. Make sure to present clear and comprehensive ideas, and support them with relevant and specific examples.

lexical resource

Work on expanding your lexical resource by using a wider range of vocabulary and more precise language. Additionally, strive for more accurate word choice and avoid repetitive language.

grammatical range

Pay closer attention to your grammar usage, including sentence structure, verb tense, and subject-verb agreement. Also, work on using more varied and complex sentence structures to demonstrate a wider grammatical range.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

194 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Adaptable
Innovations
Breakthroughs
Deep industry knowledge
Mentors
Fostering
Workforce balance
Maximizing profits
Enthusiasm
Wisdom

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Some people believe that young people bring more profit to the company. Others says that older people actually bring more profits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development?

In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computer, the internet and smartphone, more and more people are to starting to work from home. What are the advantage and disadvantages of this development.

Research shows that global warming is caused by human activity. What are the possible effects of climate change and what can governments and individuals do to reduce these?