Some people believe that young people bring more profit to the company. Others says that older people actually bring more profits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #profit #company #profits

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Employment

Wrong verb form

has been

show examples

inevitable

Add an article

an inevitable

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aspect of one's

lives

Fix the agreement mistake

life

show examples

since time

imemmorial

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immemorial

. Masses of people

beleive

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believe

that young employers make more money rather than older

whreas

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whereas

others assert that aged

one's

Change noun form

ones

show examples

get more profit in their company or firms. I my

openion

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opinion

that the first

nortion

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portion

notion

outweighting

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outweighing

out weighting

than other

phenominon

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phenomenon

. On the one hand. There are enormous

casuative

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causative

factors behind

this

Linking Words

factor. First and

formost

Correct your spelling

foremost

is that

yougsters

Correct your spelling

youngsters

are more skilled and very

knowlegable

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knowledgeable

persons

Replace the word

people

show examples

in the

cutting- edge

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cutting-edge

show examples

era as they get proper education as well proper technical skills in our

accadamics

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academics

For instance

Linking Words

, a recent study depicts that

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

persentage

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percentage

of companies require less than 40

year

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years

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aged workers. Supporting the other view that older persons are well

expericed

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experienced

and they know past things in their companies which would help firm's development and profit. Because of that, the owners of the institution is provided high

salary

Fix the agreement mistake

salaries

show examples

for the aged

worker's

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workers

show examples

. As

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

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employers are verge of

retirment

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retirement

, they want

high

Correct article usage

a high

show examples

income to reduce their family burden. To recapitulate,the job has been

major

Add an article

a major

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concern of every life. As l am concerned,

new

Correct article usage

the new

show examples

generation

bring

Change the verb form

brings

show examples

more profit

Change preposition

show examples

their company because they are

high

Replace the word

highly

show examples

skilled

Submitted by shahinka.687 on Sat Nov 11 2023

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coherence and cohesion

Work on organizing your ideas more clearly. Ensure that your introduction presents a clear thesis statement, and that your conclusion effectively sums up your main points and restates your opinion.

task achievement

Focus on providing a more complete response that addresses all aspects of the task. Make sure to present clear and comprehensive ideas, and support them with relevant and specific examples.

lexical resource

Work on expanding your lexical resource by using a wider range of vocabulary and more precise language. Additionally, strive for more accurate word choice and avoid repetitive language.

grammatical range

Pay closer attention to your grammar usage, including sentence structure, verb tense, and subject-verb agreement. Also, work on using more varied and complex sentence structures to demonstrate a wider grammatical range.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

194 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Adaptable
Innovations
Breakthroughs
Deep industry knowledge
Mentors
Fostering
Workforce balance
Maximizing profits
Enthusiasm
Wisdom

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Some people believe that young people bring more profit to the company. Others says that older people actually bring more profits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people argue that space explonation has had more to do with national pride than international effort. To what extent to you agree with this? How do you think space explonation will change in the future?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social prblems as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statements?

Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industries to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

some people think that tachnolongy is now an invalubable study tools for young people other believe that it is harmful for the studing. dicuss both thses views and give your own opinion.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantage?