IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think that is a positive or a negative development?

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Residents of the countryside would rather live in
cities
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 than in rural areas nowadays,
thus
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 the number of inhabitants is declining. Moving to
cities
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 is a negative development that may lead to overpopulation which can cause
traffic
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 issues, residence problems, and employment
shortage
Fix the agreement mistake
shortages
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. The first and main, overcrowding in
cities
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 can lead to several drawbacks
such
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 as
traffic
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 jams and high prices in real estate value. The
people
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, who move to big
cities
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, require a place to live, so there is a supply-demand issue that increases the costs of an apartment, so they become not affordable.
Therefore
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, in the end,
people
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 might be homeless or be trapped in poverty for the long term.
Additionally
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, the growing population can cause
traffic
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 congestion, specifically
traffic
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 jams.
Hence
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, it can be stressful and exhausting for
people
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 to use public transport or vehicles on a daily basis.
Secondly
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, another thing to worry about is the shortage of jobs in
cities
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.
Due to
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 immigration to urban areas, there is competition in the labour market. In
this
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 regard, the employers might behave themselves inappropriately,
as well as
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 decrease the salary or demand something
that is
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 not their job description, because they can replace them with a new employee easily.
This
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 can result in unemployment and low wages. In conclusion, the given examples show the negative effects of urban relocations, it can harm every citizen
as well as
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 the
people
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 who move out. In order to avoid these problems, the government should improve the conditions of rural zones to make life in the countryside more attractive.
Otherwise
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, urban resettlements will not stop.

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task response
The response provides a clear position on the issue but lacks in-depth development and analysis. It does not fully address all aspects of the task and would benefit from exploring both positive and negative aspects of the rural to urban migration.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a basic organizational structure, but there are issues with coherence and logical progression of ideas. The introduction and conclusion are present, but the body paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and transitions between ideas.
lexical resource
The essay shows a limited range in vocabulary and lacks sophistication in lexical choices. It also contains some inaccuracies and awkward phrasings, affecting the overall lexical resource score.
grammatical range
The essay displays a variety of sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors and inaccuracies. The use of punctuation and sentence structure can be confusing, leading to a lack of clarity and coherence in the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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