IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that government should increase the tax on petrol in order to decrease traffic and pollution. Do you agree with this opinion?

#people #government #tax #petrol #decrease #traffic #pollution
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There is no denying the fact that
tax
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 on
petrol
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 can be a debatable subject.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that some individuals believe that to decrease traffic and
pollution
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 the government increase the
tax
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 on
petrol
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. there is
also
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 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that in order to decrease traffic and
pollution
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 public
transportation
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 will be one of the most effective solutions.
To begin
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 with, Increased
tax
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 on
petrol
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 can discourage
people
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 from driving and reduce traffic congestion.
In other words
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, Higher
petrol
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 prices can incentivize
people
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 to use public
transportation
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 or carpooling.
In addition
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, The implementation of a higher
petrol
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tax
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 should help encourage individuals to use alternative options.
For example
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,
Tax
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 revenue from increased
petrol
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tax
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 can be used to fund alternative
transportation
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 options and infrastructure. Another point to consider is that Higher
petrol
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 prices can encourage
people
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 to switch to more fuel-efficient vehicles. It is
also
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 possible to say that, when they switch it will help in reducing
pollution
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.
Moreover
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, an Increased
tax
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 on
petrol
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 can help reduce air
pollution
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 and its harmful effects on human health and nature.
For instance
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, it will help in reducing the ozone Layer effect which will help in making the earth stronger and
last
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 longer. In conclusion, despite
people
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 having different views, I believe that the government should increase the
tax
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 on
petrol
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 because the positives of the decision outweigh its negatives, I suggest that the governments make programs that help to improve public
transportation
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.
Submitted by abdelaah.12 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction lacks clarity and coherence. It should clearly state the viewpoint and main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
Lexical Resource
The use of vocabulary is effective and shows a good range, but some words and phrases could be more precisely chosen for the context.
Grammatical Range
Good control of a wide range of grammatical structures, with only minor errors present. Work on using more complex sentence structures for a higher score.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • government intervention
  • taxation policies
  • reduce traffic congestion
  • incentivize
  • public transportation
  • carpooling
  • alternative transportation options
  • infrastructure
  • fuel-efficient vehicles
  • air pollution
  • implementation
  • low-income
  • individuals
  • families
What to do next:
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