IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animals. Is it justified or there is any alternative? To what extent do you agree or diagree?

#people #experimentation #animals #discoveries #alternative #diagree
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued by a group of individuals that
animals
Use synonyms
 are used for experiments and research purposes
therefore
Linking Words
 it is harmful to those species and should be omitted from law.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the opposing group says that they are beneficial for many scientific studies.
According to
Linking Words
 my view, it is good to use these
animals
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of humans and I am in favour of the above statement. But there are exceptional cases like some
animals
Use synonyms
 are extinct
hence
Linking Words
 they should not be utilized for
such
Linking Words
 purposes.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, many of the animal extracts are used to produce cosmetics.
Consequently
Linking Words
, these
animals
Use synonyms
 play a vital role in the health and maintaining the beauty of the individuals. For
this
Linking Words
, it is important to have a strong knowledge of these creatures which is only possible by the proper scientific studies.
For example
Linking Words
, honey bee wax is used in most beauty products to enhance the appearance of the body.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they are particularly used by pharmaceutical companies to produce many medicines that are beneficial for human health.
Although
Linking Words
 their breed is decreasing many researchers are still using them for the population to save them from certain diseases like live attenuated toxins from
animals
Use synonyms
 are used for vaccines.
Finally
Linking Words
, a major milestone was achieved by the research done on sheep for the first cloned baby that was named Dolly. At that time they used sheep for cloning and that proved beneficial in today's world.
Consequently
Linking Words
, these days infertility rate is increasing
therefore
Linking Words
 to help a human being become easier the procedure is performed on
animals
Use synonyms
 first to reduce the mortality rate.
Therefore
Linking Words
, is beneficial in many ways. In conclusion, it is good to do experiments on them because they are safer for us and can save the families of many individuals by experimenting on old
animals
Use synonyms
 that are less beneficial for
thsat
Correct your spelling
that
 plant. If they can be used it is of no harm but may prove advantageous in many ways.
Submitted by aimenmalik2021 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Ensure to address the opposing argument more thoroughly and consider the ethical implications of animal experimentation.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider variety of linking words and transition phrases to improve coherence and cohesion.
Lexical Resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and consider using more precise and appropriate words.
Grammatical Range
Work on sentence structure variety and be mindful of subject-verb agreement and word usage.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: