Some peopel think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute towards happiness?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is argued that finances have a major role in providing positive emotions in

human’s

Change noun form

human

show examples

lives .

This

Linking Words

essay will highlight the opinion that cash is not capable

to guarantee

Change preposition

of guaranteeing

show examples

happiness , but it can help to attain goals which

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

a great source of joy .

Firstly

Linking Words

, large amounts of capital can not assure a positive mindset. There are individuals who

carrying

Wrong verb form

carry

show examples

around emotional baggage that

cause

Correct subject-verb agreement

causes

show examples

a depressed worldview,

hence

Linking Words

they are not lively and grateful for what they have.

Moreover

Linking Words

, these people might be from wealthy families with a prosperous lifestyle, but it is not exactly

that

Correct word choice

what

show examples

they wished to possess. Even basic values

Correct quantifier usage

such as

show examples

friendship and love are not a part of everyone’s leaving.

Therefore

Linking Words

, not everything can be bought , and pleasure consists

Change preposition

show examples

ordinary details .

For instance

Linking Words

, it is enough to be healthy and to be surrounded by those who care in order to be cheerful.

Secondly

Linking Words

, money should not be considered the most crucial way to improve well-being . It is not the only way to accomplish desires .

However

Linking Words

, they definitely assist anyone in getting closer to a dream .

Additionally

Linking Words

, financial support helps to be safe and

provide

Correct subject-verb agreement

provides

show examples

a comfortable environment ,

such

Linking Words

as a house or a stable job .

Otherwise

Linking Words

, having

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of money does not bother to enjoy the world around them .

For example

Linking Words

, each person can manage to get rid of anxiety by going for a walk in the nearest park . In conclusion, it is not necessary for expenditures to increase enjoyment. A happy state is truly affordable , for the reason that it requires more spiritual things ,specifically friendships, connection with nature and finding your couple and comfort zone .

acaitazSat Nov 11 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some countries spend a lot of money preparing competitors to take part in major competitions such as Olympic Games or football World Cup. Some people say that it would be better to spend this money encouraging children to take up sports from a young age. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today's society, several countries have invested a lot to train athletes for some major competitions, such as the Olympic Games and the football World Cup. However, some people hold the belief that this revenue should be used to inspire children to take up sports at a young age. From my perspective, the governments should allocate their funds to both.
7.5
band
You have just read an article in an international travel magazine which contained some information about your town that is incorrect. Write a letter to the editor if the magazine, in your letter •Correct the information in the article. •Explain why it is important for the magazine to give correct information •Suggest what the magazine should do about this situation.
I am writing this to report about information which has been printed incorrectly in the latest edition of the travel magazine The World All About Knowledge.
7
band
Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today's world, there is an ongoing debate about whether unpaid community service should be a mandatory component of high school education. While some argue that this practice can be burdensome for students, I strongly believe that integrating community service into the high school curriculum is essential for both the personal development of students and the betterment of society.
7
band
Nowadays, a lot of offices employ open-space designs instead of separate rooms for work. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this matter?
Nowadays, many modern offices use a new design for their staff which is called open-space design. This kind of design has both advantages and disadvantages compared to separate rooms. I will discuss them in this paper.
6.5
band
Research has shown that spending much less time in workplace can reduce the use of energy. Thus, some companies close for some days a week. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages.
In recent years, our working environments have been changed dramatically. Some research has shown that spending less time in the workplace can reduce energy usage. And I also strongly agree with this opinion for two reasons.

Some peopel think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute towards happiness?

Your opinion

Some countries spend a lot of money preparing competitors to take part in major competitions such as Olympic Games or football World Cup. Some people say that it would be better to spend this money encouraging children to take up sports from a young age. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, a lot of offices employ open-space designs instead of separate rooms for work. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this matter?

Research has shown that spending much less time in workplace can reduce the use of energy. Thus, some companies close for some days a week. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages.