In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

Nowadays, a considerable decline in the world's biodiversity is noticeable in several countries. Preaching and human habituation are considered to be the most common drivers of
issue which can be addressed through implementing the following measures.
To begin
due to
the acceleration in population surge and rising demands for resources, illegal hunting has been adopted more than ever, making it the first and foremost reason for
issue. poses a significant threat to wild habitats. Killing distinct animals
Remove the comma
show examples
is not only leading to a decline in the plantation of the lands but
exacerbating animals' breeding rates.
For instance
, the Egypt
have declared that more than a risk of
Change the noun form
show examples
due to
massive preaching.
, the rising population ratio has resulted in great deforestation in order to make way for civilization. To indicate, A great proportion of the forests in the north of Iran has been cleared for agricultural purposes, prior to making them less fertile.
, because of the high utilization of Fossil fuel sources for electricity generation which leads to great emissions of CO2 have
Verb problem
show examples
in the extinction of massive amount of flora and fauna.
is happening because of the great pollution caused by a considerable amount of CO2 in the air, making breathing and staying alive for species difficult.
the issue brings great concern, it can be tackled by adopting several resolutions. At
should be held accountable for
illegal activities.
, they should organize guards to protect endangered areas, prior to elucidating illegal wildlife trade. For incidence, Australia's environmentalists recruited by the
have established a well-known organization to teach a small number of villagers how to preserve their region from outrageous hunters.
, there are
some people-centred measures which can be conducted
Change preposition
show examples
like appreciating the use of more renewable energies
in addition
, to housing themselves away from animal habitats to lower the deforestation ratio.
To conclude
, with the rise in civilization and
Fix the agreement mistake
show examples
demands, deforestation and pollution have become the most vital
Fix the agreement mistake
show examples
of the worldwide biodiversity decline.
, it could be addressed through methods by both people and the
Submitted by bita.rezaei7052 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Provide specific examples to support your points. Use accurate and relevant examples to illustrate your arguments more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your essay follows a clear, logical structure with well-organized paragraphs. Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented, but the body paragraphs need to be more coherent.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely. Avoid repetitive use of language and consider using synonyms where appropriate.
grammatical range
Work on sentence structure and accuracy to improve clarity and maintain coherence in your writing. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, punctuation, and sentence variety.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion: you agree or disagree? you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: