Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like soccer while other people believe that taking part in individual sports is better, like tennis or swimming. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Taking

part

Use synonyms

in some kind of activities in

one

Use synonyms

spare time is crucial for

overall

Linking Words

confidence, relaxation and mental stability. Many individuals would find it more beneficial when doing any type of passion

while

Linking Words

being in a

group

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, there is

vast

Change the article

a vast

the vast

show examples

number of people

who's

Correct your spelling

whose

show examples

need is to be alone

while

Linking Words

developing

one

Use synonyms

's self. All of

this

Linking Words

apply

Correct subject-verb agreement

applies

show examples

sports

Use synonyms

. It is being said that taking

part

Use synonyms

group

Use synonyms

sports

Use synonyms

has

better

Add an article

a better

show examples

outcome on

variety

Add an article

a variety

show examples

of qualities,

while

Linking Words

others

says

Change the verb form

say

show examples

the same about individual

Use synonyms

one's

Change noun form

ones

show examples

. In

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

I will depict both of those views. In my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

taking

part

Use synonyms

group

Use synonyms

sports

Use synonyms

is more beneficial.

To begin

Linking Words

with, when you're attending any kind of sport workshop where you have to

asimilate

Correct your spelling

assimilate

with the

group

Use synonyms

you must get in contact with anyone to build any type of relationship. With that being said it makes us more open

Change preposition

show examples

others, which may prominently support our future life position as we are being equipped with splendid interpersonal skills.

Linking Words

Moreover

Add a comma

Moreover,

show examples

you learn how to cope with all types of emotions.

For instance

Linking Words

, if your team lost the game

you

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

, you would not be filled out with anger as you know specific techniques to calm yourself down.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, when mentioning

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

individual

sports

Use synonyms

we have to recognize the bright sides as well. It is that

part

Use synonyms

one

Use synonyms

exsitence

Correct your spelling

existence

that makes

one

Use synonyms

's mental health resilient when facing uneasy situations. Tennis players

knows

Change the verb form

know

show examples

the inside of how to fight

your

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

inner battles when nothing

went

Wrong verb form

goes

show examples

as planned. It makes them immune to

enourmous

Correct your spelling

enormous

stress.

Nonetheless

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

type of

players

Fix the agreement mistake

player

show examples

are

Change the verb form

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

higher

Add an article

a higher

show examples

risk of being selfish and prideful. It is that since they are training on their own with

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

very little help

Change preposition

from

show examples

others.

Not to mention

Linking Words

that any title is being won just by

theirselves

Correct your spelling

themselves

show examples

. All in

all

Add a comma

all,

show examples

I reckon that any passion makes life

fullfilled

Correct your spelling

fulfilled

with happiness whether it is being individual or

group

Use synonyms

enagement

Correct your spelling

engagement

management

Whereas

Linking Words

we can not forget

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that human needs to be around their

aquainatnces

Correct your spelling

acquaintances

to share their worries, mesmerised moments or

achivements

Correct your spelling

achievements

which can be

acuqired

Correct your spelling

acquired

from cooperation

such

Linking Words

as sport. It allows anyone to feel seen or attached to

social

Add an article

a social

the social

show examples

group

Use synonyms

Company

Correct article usage

A company

show examples

of peers with

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

intrests

Correct your spelling

interests

helps to go

trough

Correct your spelling

through

show examples

life less anxious.

olaualSat Nov 11 2023

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coherence cohesion

Provide a clearer structure and organization for your essay. Make sure your introduction and conclusion are more explicit and connected to the main body.

task achievement

Ensure that all aspects of the task are covered more comprehensively, and provide more specific examples to support your points.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary and use a wider range of words and expressions to convey your ideas more effectively.

grammatical range

Focus on improving your sentence structures, grammar usage, and punctuation to enhance the overall clarity and precision of your writing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

379 words

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Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like soccer while other people believe that taking part in individual sports is better, like tennis or swimming. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Eating too much sugar is harmful to health. Some people think it is the government’s responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think it is an individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that the government should spend more money putting in more works of art like paintings and statues in cities to make them better places to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

It is said that travel broadens the mind. What can we learn by travelling to other countries? Should we first explore our own countries? What do you think?