60.The table and graph below show information about cinema visits in Auckland between 1995 and 2003. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

60.The table and graph below show information about cinema visits in Auckland between 1995 and 2003. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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The table chart displays the average
number
Use synonyms
of all ages that visit the cinema and the linear chart illustrates the time of
visits
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of the different
age
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ranges in Auckland from 1995 to 2003.
Overall
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, both the percentage and
number
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of
visits
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fluctuated during the
period
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.
Also
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, all
age
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ranges varied in the same proportion. In 1995, cinemas had the lowest percentage of
visits
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compared with the other
years
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, with 67%, during the next two
years
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the proportion increased steadily by 5% to 72%, and
this
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was maintained during 1991,
while
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in 2001 it grew significantly to 80%, but in the
last
Linking Words
year of the
period
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, it went back to 72%.
Furthermore
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, 1997 had the highest average
number
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of cinema
visits
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with 11.2, compared with 10.3 in 1995. In 1999 had the lowest
number
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of
visits
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, with only 7.3,
while
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in 2001 and 2003 there was only a difference of 0.1, with 8.4 and 8.3 respectively. In the second graph, all ages had the same variation, people in the
age
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range 14 to 24 visited the most the cinema,
while
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individuals older than 50 the least. People from 14 to 24, had an average of around 10.3 times
visits
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in 1995, and
this
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rose moderately to 11 in 1997, but
then
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it decreased sharply to just under 10 in 1999, between 1999 and 2001 it grew moderately, remaining relatively stable in the
last
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two
years
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.
While
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people in the
age
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range of more than 50, started the
period
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with around 9.2
visits
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and grew to 10 in 1997, but
then
Linking Words
it dropped to just over 8,
finally
Linking Words
during the
last
Linking Words
4
years
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it increased modestly , ending the
period
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at approximately an average of 9.
Submitted by elenazheng1211 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, visits, age, period, years with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "moderately" was used 2 times.
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