IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Coins and paper money will soon be replaced by credit and bank cards. Eventually we will have a cashless society which will be safer and more convenient for everyone. Do you agree or disagree

Physical
money
Use synonyms
 will soon be replaced with digital ones
as well as
Linking Words
 credit cards.
Thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 will lead to a
cashless
Use synonyms
 society , which is more prudent and convenient. Personally,I tend to strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 point of view.
Firstly
Linking Words
, being able to use
cashless
Use synonyms
 currency would greatly increase the amount of commerce
as well as
Linking Words
 the
overall
Linking Words
 sales in markets.
For instance
Linking Words
, empires
such
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 as Amazon have opened plenty of supermarkets that do not take cash, they only receive
money
Use synonyms
 from the banking system , which has skyrocketed the sales and the flow of
money
Use synonyms
 for them, which was stated by Jeff Bezos himself, that
This
Linking Words
 phenomenon is an evolution for corporations to take advantage of.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is substantial for business models to switch
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 new kind of
money
Use synonyms
 system.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the perks and convenience that a
cashless
Use synonyms
 society would have are the ability to make ultra-fast and easy payments. Different from the past, where individuals had to take many steps to get the
money
Use synonyms
 out, nowadays, individuals only need to scan a QR code or a barcode to pay. Which would indubitably be less time-consuming. Research done by the BBC had stated that we usually spend at least 10-30 minutes a day taking care of payments , but now with online banking, it has dropped down to only 5 minutes , which is substantial. In conclusion, the fact that
money
Use synonyms
 is being replaced by new kinds of digital currency will result in a
cashless
Use synonyms
 society for the better, for me, is an advancement of the new era , and it would bring more merit than harm.

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language
Fix grammar and spelling. Use full stops and commas where needed and write clear sentences.
task
Make one main idea per paragraph and give proof for it.
content
Add true and clear examples. Do not rely on unsure facts.
cohesion
Use linking words to show order and to join ideas.
task
Keep to your view and avoid too many extra points.
content
Check facts and numbers before you write; be careful with sources.
content
The writer states a clear view on the topic.
cohesion
Some use of linking words to show order (Firstly, Secondly).
structure
Introduction has a stated position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cashless
  • money
  • coins
  • notes
  • cards
  • bank
  • payment
  • safe
  • easy
  • fast
  • online
  • shop
  • pay
  • people
  • old
  • poor
  • rural
  • internet
  • device
  • risk
  • crime
  • hack
  • data
  • private
  • info
  • policy
  • mix
  • cash
  • help
  • teach
  • support
  • access
  • emergency
  • system
  • growth
  • cost
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