68.Some people think people working in creative arts should be financially supported by government. Others think they should find financial support from other resources. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

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Some say that the
government
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should offer financial
support
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to those individuals who work in creative arts,
while
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others would argue that these
people
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should get funding from other sources.
This
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essay will argue that
although
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the
government
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should do what it can,
artists
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also
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need to market their work themselves. On the one hand,
artists
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make great contributions to the development of the culture of the country.
This
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is because their work represents heritage, culture and tradition, so present and future generations can learn about the past of the nation through these products, just like what
people
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are doing now with works from the past.
Also
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, is difficult to earn a livelihood for
people
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working in
this
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area, so if the
government
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does not
support
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them, they will have to choose other works.
For example
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, in Spain, there are many
people
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that have graduated from an art course
,
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apply
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but
finally
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decided to change careers because it was difficult for them to look for a job.
However
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, I believe that the
government
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should give some
support
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to them, but these
people
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should make an effort too.
On the other hand
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, there is a limit to the amount of money that the governments are able to spend for the welfare of the
artists
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. They have to take care of more pressing needs. Nowadays nations face many problems,
such
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as climate change and terrorism. The
government
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have the obligation to protect all citizens of their countries, so they cannot use all their funds to
support
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artists
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.
For instance
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, spending money for free education, public health and infrastructure building are important activities that the
government
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need to consider. In my opinion, all these activities are important because it covers all
people
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in the country. In conclusion,
although
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artists
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can contribute to the culture and traditions of the country, the
government
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have a limited budget for these activities, and there are more important issues that the
government
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need to solve with their funds, and
that is
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why it is preferable for the
artists
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to look for other ways for finding financial
support
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.
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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but could be more focused and impactful. The main points are generally supported but could benefit from more clarity and depth.
task achievement
The response addresses the task to a satisfactory extent, presenting clear and comprehensive ideas. However, the relevant specific examples could be more detailed and pertinent to the arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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