In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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Some societies believe that children must be taught to be hard-working people so they can obtain everything they want.

This

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attitude obviously contributes to their success.

However

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, there are

also

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some disadvantages that must be aware

Change preposition

of.

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Both views will be discussed in the following paragraph. The diligent people produce quality work, and they receive an excellent reputation in return.

This

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is because they do something carefully.

For instance

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, a student prepared for an exam three weeks in advance, and he had complete notes to support his study,

then

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eventually he got a very good mark. By doing

this

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attitude continuously, the kids will develop a permanent character and become reliable adults in the future.

This

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kind of people benefit the others. We can see our experience in a good restaurant as an example, we keep coming back if we receive excellent service from their workers.

On the other hand

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, giving the message to be a hardworking person too frequently can be a pressure. Some of them might be misunderstood about the point if we treat their achievements as a competition.

Instead

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of being hardworking for themselves, they do that to receive their parents' approval.

This

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can be exhausting for them mentally. The favouritism in the family is a prime example, if a child continuously does whatever their parents want, they will lose their identity

while

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the least favourite family members lose their confidence.

This

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can be prevented by giving them options and assisting them to asses what is good or bad,

also

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praise

Wrong verb form

praising

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them evenly so no one feels left behind. In conclusion, children still need encouragement from their parents.

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, the adults must do it with balance so they do not feel stressed and exhausted.

kakakabroadSun Nov 12 2023

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task response

The essay lacks in providing a clear position on the advantages and disadvantages of giving children the message about achieving anything through hard work. The response to the task is incomplete and lacks depth.

coherence and cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is somewhat confusing. The ideas are not consistently organized and the connection between points is unclear. The introduction and conclusion are present, but the supporting points lack smooth transition and coherence.

lexical resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary to express ideas but the choice and use of words is often inaccurate. There are also instances of awkward phrasing and inappropriate word choice. Furthermore, there is limited variety in sentence structures.

grammatical range

The essay has frequent grammatical errors and lacks precision in sentence structures. The errors hinder the clarity of the message and make the essay difficult to follow. The range of sentence structures is limited and needs improvement.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

achieve
try hard
positive mindset
self-belief
motivates
ambitious goals
resilience
determination
confidence
self-esteem
growth mindset
unrealistic expectations
disappointment
failure
effort
hard work
seek support
individual differences
abilities
capabilities

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Your opinion

In recent years, there have been a number of everyday problems that people in big cities have to cope with.

Some people think that new houses should be built in the same style as older houses in the local area. Others disagree and say that local authorities should allow people to build houses in the styles of their own choice. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

Write a letter to an electronic company requesting information about their latest model of digital camera you have seen advertised. Ask about the following items The price and availability of the new camera The exact size and special functions the set have