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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table below shows expenditures on advertising of four car companies in the UK in 2002.

The table below shows expenditures on advertising of four car companies in the UK in 2002.
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The table illustrates the types of advertising that
spent
Add a missing verb
were spent
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in
Change preposition
by
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 four car companies, including
Renault
Use synonyms
,
Rover
Use synonyms
,
Vauxhall
Use synonyms
 and Cetirzine in
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 Kingdom in the year 2002.
This
Linking Words
 table
provide
Change the verb form
provides
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 the expenditure
in
Change preposition
on
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 types of advertising on press, cinema, outdoor, radio and TV.
It is clear that
Linking Words
Renault
Use synonyms
 company spent the highest amount of money
in
Change preposition
on
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 advertising. Press advertisement seems the most preferable among
other advertisement
Change the wording
another advertisement
other advertisements
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, whilst cinema was
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 least. In terms of press, the
most
Change the adjective
apply
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highest spent was
Renault
Use synonyms
 (45
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
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), followed by
Rover
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 (38
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
), Certirzine (12
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
) and
Vauxhall
Use synonyms
 (8
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
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).
However
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
on
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 TV
advertise
Change the form of the verb
advertising
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, Certirzine spent the greatest which is 70
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
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 and the lowest was
Rover
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 which is 45
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Renault
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 and
Vauxhall
Use synonyms
 spent on cinema 6
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
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 and 5
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
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, respectively,
while
Linking Words
 the remaining companies
was
Change the verb form
were
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 not used.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
all
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 of company spent 15
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
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 which is the same amount
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 Radio
advertisement
Replace the word
advertising
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, 7
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
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 was used
in
Change preposition
apply
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outdoor
Replace the word
outdoors
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 in
Renault
Use synonyms
 and
Vauxhall
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 Certirzine and
Rover
Use synonyms
 used 3
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 and 2
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
, respectively.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words renault, rover, vauxhall, millions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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