One of the major problems that faces today’s governments is creating enough satisfactory housing for their increasing populations whilst still trying to protect the environment. Discuss this statement and give your opinion.

One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
faces is creating enough satisfactory housing for their increasing populations whilst still trying to protect the environment.
However
, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
still problems
to keep
Change preposition
with keeping
show examples
up with both necessities at the same time. A commonly held belief in society is that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
always should provide housing to their people no matter what,
although
there is no way to deny that today the population is rising twice as fast
than
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as
show examples
before, which means
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
has to consider housing even more
detailed
Replace the word
detail
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than ever. As
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
evidence, we can see a number of
constructions
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construction
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companies building apartment
houses
and any type of living worth
houses
for the community.
Furthermore
, most of the
houses
are being built as satisfactory
houses
which
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
Add an article
a great
show examples
great
Correct word choice
greater
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amount of opportunities for living than typical
houses
, taking more space to construct, even though it has disadvantages for the environment, which clearly leads to environmental damages in the future. So,
on the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
those environmental questions are becoming extremely observed and discussed by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. One clear example is the detriments of
the
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apply
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nature, especially trees and forest areas to build
houses
for people. In fact, not only housing is the main issue, there are more factories,
offices
Correct word choice
and offices
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appearing in most parts of the cities than
previous
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in previous
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years. Of course,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
considering
this
issue too and searching for an answer, but
having
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
minimal ideas
as a result
. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account I would say that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
has
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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opportunities to keep
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
housing production and
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
clearance together.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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task achievement
Your essay needs more relevant and specific examples to substantiate your main points. When discussing how population growth impacts housing and the environment, consider providing statistical data or real-world instances.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports a central idea and relates back to the main argument. At times, the essay leaps from one point to another without sufficient connection or elaboration. Try using transition phrases and sentences to smoothly link your ideas.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction where you present the problem and a conclusion that sums up your opinion. This provides a good framework for your essay.
coherence cohesion
The topic sentences in your paragraphs help to guide the reader and set up the points you intend to make. These are clear and to the point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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