One of the major problems that faces today’s governments is creating enough satisfactory housing for their increasing populations whilst still trying to protect the environment. Discuss this statement and give your opinion.
One of the widely discussed problems nowadays is building
residentials
for the population Correct your spelling
residential
that is
increasing every day. While
many believe that construction
of new houses is essential, others claim that Correct article usage
the construction
this
will completely destroy the environment. I believe that houses indeed should be built, however
, they have to be eco-friendly.
In Third-World countries
the problem concerning the up-going trend of population is simply not comprehensive. In those Add a comma
countries,
countries
a nation consists of orphans, starving, deceased and homeless people Add a comma
countries,
which
hopelessly need a roof above their heads. The government thinks that Correct pronoun usage
who
construction
of new residential buildings is Correct article usage
the construction
an
ultimate solution Correct article usage
the
for
Change preposition
to
this
obstacle. In their homes
they will find food and warmth that would seem to be enough for Add a comma
homes,
mediocre
lifestyle. Correct article usage
a mediocre
For instance
, in Kazakhstan there a plenty of residential buildings that are harming
to nature, Replace the word
harmful
nonetheless
, the head of the state still keeps building them. From my perspective, the continuation of this
exertion would be a dead point for the surrounding nature.
Our eco-system and atmosphere are already suffering from the
factory fumes and automobile gas. The establishment of new buildings with residents in them, would worsen Correct article usage
apply
this
situation and add even more complications. Hence
, it would be wise to help the
nature and not disturb it with any new constructions.
Correct article usage
apply
Instead
, labelling new priorities and setting law
against Fix the agreement mistake
laws
reproduction
of humans would be a calculated explication. As a matter of fact, China being the most populated country by density has already proclaimed that more than one child in the family is illegal. By doing Add an article
the reproduction
this
, the population number always remains stable and fixed.
In conclusion, I believe that every inhabitant of our planet needs a home, but in order to build those the Earth has to be treated reverently.Submitted by dnm.best on
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task achievement
Your essay presents a discussion with an opinion as instructed by the task; however, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, leading to a lower score in task achievement. To improve, ensure that each paragraph fully explores the issue, providing clear and extended arguments supported by specific examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay possesses a recognizable structure with both introduction and conclusion; however, there are gaps in cohesion. Transition phrases can help the reader follow your argument more clearly. Use a variety of cohesive devices to link ideas between and within paragraphs.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.