The graph below shows the number of shops that closed in the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed in the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
The given line graphs illustrate
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of new
shops
and
shops
that have been closed in a country
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
2011 until 2018.
Overall
, the number of
shops
, either
it is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
closed or opened
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
mostly
fluctuating
Wrong verb form
fluctuated
show examples
throughout the
period
given.
In addition
, more
shops
are opened during the starting
period
, which is 2011, whilst
at the end
of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
shown that shop closures became the majority. In regard to
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2011, almost 9000
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shops
are opening before it falls dramatically to 4000 in the exact next year.
On the other hand
, the change amount of
shops closure
Fix the agreement mistake
shop closures
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
less dramatic
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
started
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
at more than 6000 and slightly
drop
Wrong verb form
dropping
show examples
to 6000
n
Correct your spelling
in
2012. New
shops
began to rebound again for almost two years until 2014 by around 6000
shops
and
suprassed
Correct your spelling
surpassed
suppressed
the closed
shops
even though it faced a
slightly
Change the adverb
slight
show examples
drop to 4000, which is the same exact amount as in 2012. The same goes
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
shop
closure
Fix the agreement mistake
closures
show examples
, it began to rapidly decrease and drop
tho
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
the lowest point for almost none of
shops
Add an article
the shops
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
closing in 2015. After 2015, the number of closing
shops
surge
Wrong verb form
surged
show examples
sharply and reached above 5000
shops
and
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
constant until the end of
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
given. Meanwhile, opening
shops
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
stable only until 2017
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
4000 and started to decline
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
3000 in 2018.
Submitted by baitynuris191 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words shops, period with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • decline
  • surge
  • stabilize
  • correlation
  • economic conditions
  • consumer behavior
  • technological advancements
  • urban development
  • employment
  • retail sector
What to do next:
Look at other essays: