Some people say that the experiences a child has before starting school have the most influence on their future life. Others say that experiences as a teenager, especially at school, are more influential. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

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There are controversial perspectives heating up a debate over the fact that the period of
childhood
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can impact their
life
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.
While
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some claim that
childhood
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is the most imperative period which can influence their standards, the opposite makes a statement that entering a school can affect their future
life
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. I would contend that it is optimal to combine both mentioned elements. Without a shadow of a doubt,
childhood
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is the most important time that a child can take shape in their manners . Because their acknowledgements about the world can be impacted by their parents.
For example
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, if parents’ behaviour is comparatively appropriate on a regular basis, their child can build a lot of proper behaviours.
Hence
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, the seven years of
childhood
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can result in a wealth of influence on their
life
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which they can digest from their parents.
While
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the effects of
childhood
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are widely acknowledged, it is unfair if those of teenagers are ignored. Because their majority time can be used to absorb insights from their school and their knowledge can be erected via lessons which help them have a firm graph.
For instance
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, their acknowledgements can expand through some subjects,
such
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as physics, math or biography, which can help them have a wide range of knowledge related to the world.
Thus
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the teenage period can play a paramount pivotal role in their child, which can assist them in having a strong theoretical insight in order to flourish in their career path in the upcoming. In conclusion, both mentioned periods have a lot of impact on their child’s
life
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.
While
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the
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apply
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one can help them construct suitable tacts, the other can contribute to developing their theory.
Submitted by nh203618 on

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Clarity and Examples
Your essay lacks clarity and examples. It also contains grammatical errors and vague statements. It is important to work on providing clearer ideas and examples to support your points.
Introduction, Conclusion, and Logical Structure
Your introduction and conclusion are weak, and your ideas lack logical structure. Work on developing a clear introduction and conclusion, and ensure that your essay follows a logical structure with cohesive linking of ideas.
Vocabulary and Word Choice
Your use of vocabulary is varied, but there are instances of wordiness and imprecise language. Focus on using precise and appropriate vocabulary to express your ideas clearly and concisely.
Grammar and Sentence Structure
Your essay contains grammatical errors, including tense inconsistency and awkward phrasing. Work on using a variety of sentence structures and improving the accuracy of your language.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • influence
  • future life
  • experiences
  • childhood development
  • bonding
  • socialization
  • peer interactions
  • basic skills
  • education
  • learning
  • friendships
  • independence
  • identity
  • exposure
  • new ideas
  • perspectives
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