IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#information #families #country #income #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of average spending on eight categories in one week by families in a single country in 1968 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, people spent the most on
food
Use synonyms
 in 1968, but the trend changed in 2018 with leisure as the highest spending in families. In 1968, the spending
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 was around three times higher than other categories at 30%. Housing
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
 of spending
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
food
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, household
goods
Use synonyms
, personal
goods
Use synonyms
, transport, leisure, and fuel and power proportion
was ranging
Wrong verb form
ranged
show examples
 approximately from 6% to 9%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in 2018, families spent most of their income
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 leisure activities by around 25%.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, spending
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 housing and
food
Use synonyms
 was around 19% and 18% respectively,
while
Linking Words
 the proportion for transport was lower than 15%.
In addition
Linking Words
, spending
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 household
goods
Use synonyms
 was the same as it was in 1968. Meanwhile, spending
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
, fuel and power, and personal
goods
Use synonyms
 was around 5% and lower.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words food, goods with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure patterns
  • proportion
  • weekly income
  • accounted for
  • total expenditure
  • housing and utility expenses
  • transportation costs
  • other expenses
  • education
  • healthcare
  • leisure activities
  • spending patterns
  • witnessed a considerable rise
  • experienced a substantial increase
  • allocating a larger proportion
  • reducing their expenditure
What to do next:
Look at other essays: