In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
More and more young generation prefer to register for work-based training than attend
university
in many countries. In this
essay, I will explain why the benefits of choosing work-based training overshadow the potential drawbacks.
On the one hand, young people
who plans
to select a work experience should be aware of some potential challenges. Change the verb form
plan
Firstly
, young
generation might have Correct article usage
the young
a
limited Correct article usage
apply
theoritical
knowledge because they Correct your spelling
theoretical
almost
never told by their Add a missing verb
are almost
senior
. They usually just know theory in the concept of "learning by doing" which may result in a lack of comprehensive theoretical knowledge Fix the agreement mistake
seniors
that is
typically gained through university
education. Secondly
, they probably have a limited academic credential
that can be Fix the agreement mistake
credentials
prove
to many professions and industries. Correct your spelling
proven
Additionally
, many corporations value academic degrees from universities. By opting for work-based training instead
, youth
individuals may miss out on the recognized credentials that can enhance career opportunities.
Correct your spelling
young
On the other hand
, young people
who prefer to choose work-focused course offers more benefits. Firstly
, they know what exactly the industry Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
want
, so it is more impactful and very useful to their future career. Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
Moreover
, they have a chance to develop practical skills that more
relevant to a specific job or industry. With that experience, Add a missing verb
are more
youth
Correct article usage
the youth
generationgain
real-world experience Correct your spelling
generation gain
generation-gain
that is
directly applicable to their chosen field. Secondly
, many work-based training programs are paid and give
Verb problem
apply
the
stipends to the participants. It means that young Correct article usage
apply
people
can earn money in
Change preposition
at
the
young age and will not rely on their parents during the training. Correct article usage
a
This
opportunity will never happen in the university
since the university
required
Wrong verb form
requires
a
tuition fees.
In conclusion, Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
while
young people
prefer to choose work-training
based might have Correct your spelling
work training
a
limited Correct article usage
apply
theoritical
knowledge and do not have Correct your spelling
theoretical
an
academic credentials, they Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
are absolutely have
Change the verb form
absolutely have
a
practical skills development and can earn money Correct article usage
apply
in
an early age. Change preposition
at
Therefore
, on balance, I remain firmly convinced that the merits are eclipsed by the demerits.Submitted by aulia2207nadila on
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task response
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coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. Some main points are supported with explanations and examples, but the overall logical structure could be improved for better coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
The lexical resource is adequate, but there is a need for more precise and varied vocabulary. Some expressions are inappropriate or unclear, affecting the overall quality of the essay.
grammatical range
The essay shows a basic control of a range of grammatical structures and features, but there are frequent errors that hinder overall clarity and precision. More complex sentence structures and accurate use of punctuation and tense forms would significantly improve the essay.
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