IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some believe that it is the responsibility of people to take care of the environment. Others say it is the government that should take care of the environment. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

#believe #responsibility #people #care #environment #government
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is widely believed that
people
Use synonyms
 should take
care
Use synonyms
 of the environment,
while
Linking Words
 others think that the
government
Use synonyms
 is the one who is responsible for it.
Although
Linking Words
 the
government
Use synonyms
 has much more resources to do it, I am a firm believer that it is everyone's responsibility and
this
Linking Words
 essay presents my own opinion on
this
Linking Words
 problem. One of the main reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 tend to think that taking
care
Use synonyms
 of nature is the
government
Use synonyms
's duty is its abundance of available resources. It is much easier for authorities to invest money in a project that will ensure that nature is protected since individuals do not own
this
Linking Words
 huge amount of money.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they have the power to restrict any pollution by implementing new laws which will result in the reduction of pollution.
For example
Linking Words
, in Kazakhstan, the
government
Use synonyms
 plays a pivotal role in maintaining a healthy environment since there are many taxes which ensure that
people
Use synonyms
 take
care
Use synonyms
 of the environment.
In contrast
Linking Words
, there is a firm belief that it is
people
Use synonyms
's responsibility to do it since there are more than 8 billion
people
Use synonyms
 on the Earth and their impacts all add up to the cumulative effect. There is no doubt that the total number of world population surpasses the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who are the
government
Use synonyms
's inferiors.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the cumulative effect of all these individuals will outweigh all other measures simply because there are many more of them.
For instance
Linking Words
, there are about 10 thousand
government
Use synonyms
 workers in Kazakhstan,
while
Linking Words
 its population is 20 million and it is obvious that they outweigh only 10 thousand. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 the
government
Use synonyms
 plays a significant role and contributes to the protection of nature because of all of its capabilities and resources, I think that it is
people
Use synonyms
's responsibility to take
care
Use synonyms
 of the surroundings since they have a greater impact.
Submitted by shermadovs on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or data to support your arguments. This will strengthen your essay and make it more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas by using a variety of linking words and phrases. This will enhance cohesion in your essay.
task achievement
The introduction effectively states the main topic and outlines your opinion, making your position clear from the beginning.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points discussed and reinforces your viewpoint.
task achievement
You provide a balanced discussion of both viewpoints before presenting your own position. This demonstrates an understanding of the task.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: