Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
In the contemporary world, a lot of food and drink consists of a high dose of
sugar
in the manufacturing process, which can result in many health ailments. Use synonyms
Hence
, many individuals propose that sugary products should be made more expensive, resulting in the encouragement of people to consume less Linking Words
sugar
. In my opinion, it would be a good decision to make and Use synonyms
this
essay will present why Linking Words
this
option is the best.
First and foremost, Linking Words
such
a decision will not hinder the economic growth of the country, Linking Words
due to
the fact that light Linking Words
policies
would not affect the economy substantially. Use synonyms
As a result
, many Linking Words
companies
will not be pressured extensively, which gives an opportunity for other international Use synonyms
companies
to join the local market, contributing money to the economy by taxation. Use synonyms
For example
, one Linking Words
such
practice is implemented in Germany, which works to Linking Words
this
day and Linking Words
this
practice resulted in an Linking Words
overall
decrease in Linking Words
sugar
-related deceases.
Use synonyms
Furthermore
, implementing Linking Words
such
Linking Words
policies
will encourage the local population to find healthy alternatives for Use synonyms
sugar
and will develop Use synonyms
the
local production to marginalize Correct article usage
apply
this
situation. Owing to the specific character of Linking Words
policies
, people will try to replace Use synonyms
sugar
with other products and many international Use synonyms
companies
will not be able to fill Use synonyms
such
a hole in the industry, which gives way to local Linking Words
companies
. Use synonyms
For instance
, Finland is known for similar Linking Words
policies
, where they benefited significantly from developing the local industry.
Use synonyms
To conclude
, I fully agree with the statement presented previously and Linking Words
this
could be beneficial not only for the local populationLinking Words
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
for the local industry.Linking Words
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coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, the coherence could be improved by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas between and within paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is fairly strong, with a clear progression of ideas. Nonetheless, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the main points do not overlap to avoid confusion.
coherence cohesion
Your supporting main points are relevant to the thesis statement. To enhance this, consider providing more detailed and varied examples to further support your argument.
task achievement
It's evident that you have addressed the essay prompt fully, but consider expanding your ideas to include potential counterarguments and refutations, which can deepen the analytical aspect of your task response.
task achievement
The ideas in the essay are clear and comprehensive. To improve, focus on deepening the demonstration of critical thinking and analysis of the topic.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant and specific to the topic, which is excellent. To further enhance your essay, ensure that your examples are detailed and contribute significantly to the argument you are making.