Some people believe that the government should financially support retired people. Others think they should care for themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some needs of every single
people
think that retired people
should be financially established by their government to continue their lives. Of course, this
thought is arguable among people
. Some think that it will be fine and others say it could be a problem to
the Change preposition
for
country
. In my view, we have to see what the job has done by
Change preposition
apply
them
in the past, so we can consider whether it is suitable to get Correct pronoun usage
apply
financially
support from the government or not.
Many countries are still Change the adverb
financial
on
the development Change preposition
in
state
. Their financial condition is unstable to hold special Correct your spelling
stage
program
for pensioners. Fix the agreement mistake
programs
For example
, Indonesia has to pay 5 billion dollars every year for
everyone who has retired. That number can be useful if we allocate it to another path. How about another Change preposition
to
country
that are
not more financially stable than Indonesia? It will be hard for them to Change the verb form
is
responsible
Add a missing verb
be responsible
to
Change preposition
for
Correct article usage
the
citizens
in the Change to a singular noun
citizen
country
.
However
, there are some countries that conduct
their citizens to get Verb problem
encourage
financial's
support Change noun form
financial
along
their lives. They think that each Change preposition
in
citizens
Change to a singular noun
citizen
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
responsibilites
. In Saudi Arabia, we can find the government pay their Correct your spelling
responsible
people
more than they pay to
foreigners. In Japan, the Change preposition
apply
goverment
guarantees that the pensioners will get Correct your spelling
government
financially
support right after they retire. Change the word
financial
That is
why we can find the fact that the most
happiest Change the adjective
apply
people
on the earth are Japanesse
.
In conclusion, we must carefully consider what is the kind of job that these Correct your spelling
Japanese
people
done
before, how long did they work, and the financial condition of the Add the auxiliary verb
did
have done
country
. Because we are responsible not only to retired people
but also
to others that
may need more than pensioners.Correct pronoun usage
who
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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but need improvement in clarity and relevance. The main points are supported adequately but could be more developed.
task achievement
The response provides a complete but somewhat unclear analysis of the topic. The ideas are somewhat clear and comprehensive but lack depth and focus. Relevant examples are included, but they need more clarity and relevance.
Fully explain your ideas
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- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
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