IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Nowadays, many people prefer eating out rather than cooking at home. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #home #outweigh
I want to travel
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
Africa
. Unfortunately, I have never been
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
Africa
, because my family prefer more traditional travelling. But I think it’s
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
 idea. There are a
lot
 of interesting and very beautiful places in
Africa
, I think.
For example
, there are a
lot
 of safari parks and reserves with unique animals in Tanzania. And
only
Capitalize word
Only
show examples
 in
Africa
Add a comma
Africa,
show examples
 you can see so
big
Correct word choice
large
show examples
 amount of different amazing natural sights.
Moreover
, travelling to
Africa
 is interesting for me because I’m interested in
native
Correct article usage
the native
show examples
 citizens of
Africa
. In my opinion, it will be
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 experience to talk with them. Of course,
such
 travelling may be expensive because of
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
 distance from Moscow to
Africa
, but service in
Africa
 is not very good and expensive and so it compensates
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 expensive flight. Another big problem of travelling in
Africa
 is safety. Before travelling you have to do a
lot
 of
vacines
Correct your spelling
vaccines
 to protect your health from different
african
Change the capitalization
African
show examples
 ills.
However
 it is not all problems, there are a
lot
 of dangerous animals in
Africa
 and you must think about protecting yourself from them.
Moreover
, a
lot
 of countries in
Africa
 have a high level of crime.
Therefore
, before travelling to
Aftica
Correct your spelling
Africa
 you should think about your safety, but I think it will be
really
Add an article
a really
show examples
 good experience and I want to go to
Africa
 someday.
Submitted by dulskywork on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Provide a clear introduction that addresses the prompt and a conclusion that sums up the main points of the essay.
task achievement
Ensure that the essay fully addresses the given topic and provides relevant examples and arguments.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and demonstrate a more nuanced understanding of the topic.
grammatical range
Work on sentence structure, grammar accuracy, and use of different sentence types to improve overall coherence and clarity.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • time-saving
  • social experience
  • cultural experience
  • variety
  • food choices
  • relief
  • cooking responsibilities
  • cost
  • health concerns
What to do next:
Look at other essays: