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Band 5.5

Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field has a negative influence. Discussing both sides and give your opinion.

#people #athletes #role #models #behavior #field #influence
Most societies believe that professional
athletes
 have a positive influence on youngsters,
whereas
 others bet that their
behaviour
 has a disruptive effect either on or off the field on youngsters. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument and express my opinion on the topic. Professional
athletes
 are obviously incredibly physically fit which can be a great symbol of success and goal achievement.
For instance
, some well-known
athletes
such
 as Michel B. Jordan, Bruce Li, and Mohammed Ali were recording their lifestyles to show the evidence of their hard work and strict diets which helped them build muscles and helped their followers too.
In addition
, some sportsmen inspire admiration because of their philanthropic efforts,
such
 as organizing youth sports programs or supporting educational initiatives and showing their dedication to making the world a better place.
As a result
, they become
role
models
 for millions of young
people
 who want to succeed in sports careers or are impressed by their abilities to face obstacles to achieve their goals.
On the other hand
, some
athletes
’
behaviour
 both in public and out of the field can be very disturbing and not worthy of emulation.
For example
, they might be involved in scandals, drug use, aggression or disrespect to
people
 who surround them.
Such
behaviour
 can damage their reputation and not show them as good
role
models
. It can
also
 influence young
people
 negatively, as young fans may imitate their actions in their lives to give the impression of being cool. In my opinion, professional
athletes
 serve as positive
role
models
, as they showcase
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a healthy lifestyle.
However
, it is crucial for the media, sports organizations, and society to hold
athletes
 accountable for their unsportsmanlike
behaviour
. In conclusion, professional
athletes
 have the potential to be positive
role
models
 who inspire young
people
, but
this
 is not always the case. Their influence can be both positive and negative, depending on their actions and choices.
Submitted by zakhra.aliyeva2001 on

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coherence cohesion
In your introduction, be sure to clearly present the topic and indicate that you will discuss both sides of the argument and your opinion. Your conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your opinion. Also, make sure to use more varied transition words and linkers to improve the flow of your ideas.
task response
Ensure that your essay fully addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument and expressing your opinion. Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.
lexical resource
You have demonstrated a good range of vocabulary. However, consider using more precise and formal vocabulary to enhance the quality of your writing.
grammatical range
You have generally accurate grammar throughout the essay, but be sure to use a wider variety of sentence structures and more complex grammatical forms to demonstrate a higher level of proficiency.
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