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Band 6

Nowadays, many families have both parents working. Some working parents believe that other family members like grandparents can take care of their children, while others think childcare centers can provide the best care. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#families #parents #members #grandparents #care #children #childcare #centers
In modern globalization, education spread throughout the country and educated fathers and mothers from many families are working in several sectors.
Although
 few parents think
grandparents
 can take
care
 of their children
on the contrary
 several of them realize the best center is child
care
 to provide
care
. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both of these views and
then
 illustrate my opinion. On the one hand,
Grandparents
 can take
care
 of their son’s children properly compared adequately to
childcare
. There are many reasons behind
this
;
for example
, they are both connected with the same blood and
as a result
, they love them genuinely by heart. They do not neglect their grandchildren. They always
advice
Replace the word
advise
show examples
 them on how to be a good citizen.
On the other hand
, when both parents work together in a job sector, some believe child
care
 is one of the best options for looking after their kids. In
childcare
, there are a lot of members, and
as a result
, they can provide the best service whenever they need it.
Therefore
, they taught them how to be disciplined.
For example
, from childhood, they can realize the value of
time
.
As a result
, children who spend their
time
 in
childcare
 do not waste
time
 and always use
time
 properly.
To conclude
, Though few express that
grandparents
 are the best to look after their grandchildren, some of them think
childcare
 can give extra benefits. As
Grandparents
 are getting older, there are some drawbacks to taking
care
 of them, but I think they are the best people to take
care
 of their grandchildren.
Submitted by ashissarker18 on

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coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they need to be more comprehensive and focused. You should clearly state your opinion in the introduction and then summarize the main points in the conclusion.
task achievement
Your response is not completely developed. You should provide more detailed arguments for each viewpoint and clearly present your own opinion.
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