IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that children should be educated at school about paying taxes and personal budgeting in order to help them better manage their finances when they are older. Others think that parents should teach these things, and that children will understand taxes and how to spend money carefully through life experience in the future. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

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While
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 some people consider that infants should be trained about the financial concept in their school others think that it is the responsibility of their parents. In
this
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 essay, I will talk about both points of view. For one side, it is important that the school provides the students with all the money concepts, in order to get a better understanding or overview of the economic system.
Therefore
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, the academic program should provide enough slots or time in their schedules.
In addition
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, the student centre should create an environment where the scholar can put into practice all these concepts.
For instance
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, some universities have entrepreneurial environments and let the participants develop their ideas, get sponsorship with the capex and support with countabilities of the project. Complementary to the college, the parents play an important role in matters related to monetary management.
For example
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, at home there are a lot of bills to pay and basic needs to fulfil, the parents should show their children how to get a salary and which are the expenses paid in the month.
Moreover
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, the majority of families have different economic blueprints,
such
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 as bay a house, business or farmer, which represent an approach to the evaluation project concepts, making decisions and evaluating all costs in the lifecycle like taxes and so on.
Consequently
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, involving the offspring could be interesting and get the information in their early years. To summarize,
this
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 essay talked about the different initiatives, and spaces implemented by several schools, which boost the financial concept of students.
Besides
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, all activities where the parent could involve their children.
Finally
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, both approaches are relevant and complementary to each other.

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Task Response
The essay contains relevant ideas but lacks development and specific examples. Ensure to provide more detailed and concrete examples to support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay shows a generally clear progression of ideas, with a well-structured introduction and conclusion. However, there is room for improvement in connecting and developing the main points.
Lexical Resource
The use of vocabulary is adequate, but there is a need for more precise and diverse word choice. Consider expanding your vocabulary to express ideas more effectively.
Grammatical Range
There are some grammatical errors present in the essay. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, sentence structure, and word forms to enhance grammatical accuracy.
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