Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are both entertaining and ecologically important Discuss both views.

#people #animals #zoos

From some

people

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people's

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perspective, there is importance in keeping

animal

Fix the agreement mistake

animals

show examples

zoo

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zoos

show examples

for entertaining and

ecologically

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ecological

show examples

aspects.

On the other

hand

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hand,

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others believe it is wrong to keep the animal in

cage

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a cage

the cage

show examples

. In

this

essay

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essay,

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we will discuss both

view

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views

show examples

. Regarding

this

issue of keeping

animals

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a zoo

the zoo

show examples

zoo

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zoo,

show examples

there is some strong opposition against policy-maker as they think it is wrong to keep

animals

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cage for amusement or entertainment because they think every creature have

right

Correct article usage

the right

show examples

to be free and

also

they believe that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

animals

belong to nature and they have some needs and desires that they can't reach them in

zoo

Add an article

the zoo

a zoo

show examples

for.

For example

, wild

animals

like lion or tiger have

tendency

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a tendency

the tendency

show examples

to hunt their food

this

hunting make them

healther

Correct your spelling

healthier

and

also

filfulled

Correct your spelling

fulfils

their natural instinct.

Consequently

, they think that

this

act is unethical and cruel. Other

people

think the

zoo

is a good place for family entertainment and

gathering

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gatherings

show examples

that let

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

ordinary

people

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apply

show examples

learn and see

animal

Fix the agreement mistake

animals

show examples

especially

Add the comma(s)

, especially

show examples

rare species.

Moreover

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Moreover,

show examples

this

entertainment can't make money for

government

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the government

show examples

and attract

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

tourist

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tourists

show examples

for visiting

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to visit

show examples

In addition

, by keeping

animals

zoo

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zoos

show examples

we have better

opportunity

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opportunities

show examples

to know about

animals

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animals'

animal's

show examples

habit

Fix the agreement mistake

habits

show examples

Correct word choice

and instinct

show examples

instinct

Fix the agreement mistake

instincts

show examples

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

ability or lifestyle that means we will be able to provide better

cure

Fix the agreement mistake

cures

show examples

or protection for

animals

especially

Add the comma(s)

, especially

show examples

for

animals

that are in

dangerous

Replace the word

danger

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

existence.

To conclude

therefore

some

people

believe

that is

immoral to keep

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

animal

Fix the agreement mistake

animals

show examples

zoo

Fix the agreement mistake

zoos

show examples

only for

humans

Change noun form

humans'

human's

show examples

advantages

Fix the agreement mistake

advantage

show examples

However

other things

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

there is a visible positive aspect in

this

issue like amusing

people

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

study

Submitted by mehdi.kermani.mkgm on Sun Nov 12 2023

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coherence cohesion

The introduction needs to clearly present the topic and provide a clear thesis statement. The conclusion should summarize the main points and provide a final thought.

task achievement

The response does not fully address all parts of the task. There should be a balanced discussion of both views, with specific examples and clear reasoning.

grammatical range

There are instances of grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that hinder the essay's clarity and coherence. Focus on using a wider range of sentence structures and tenses.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
45Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

captivity
natural habitat
artificial enclosures
genetic diversity
animal welfare
conservation efforts
endangered species
biodiversity
education platform
breeding programs
reintroduction
psychological suffering

What to do next:

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Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are both entertaining and ecologically important Discuss both views.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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