Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are both entertaining and ecologically important Discuss both views.

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From some
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people
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people's
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perspective, there is importance in keeping
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
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in
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zoo
Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
show examples
for entertaining and
ecologically
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ecological
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aspects.
On the other
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hand
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hand,
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others believe it is wrong to keep the animal in
cage
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a cage
the cage
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. In
this
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essay
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essay,
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we will discuss both
view
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views
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. Regarding
this
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issue of keeping
animals
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in
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Add an article
a zoo
the zoo
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zoo
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zoo,
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there is some strong opposition against policy-maker as they think it is wrong to keep
animals
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in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cage for amusement or entertainment because they think every creature have
right
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the right
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to be free and
also
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they believe that
the
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apply
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animals
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belong to nature and they have some needs and desires that they can't reach them in
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zoo
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the zoo
a zoo
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for.
For example
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, wild
animals
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like lion or tiger have
tendency
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a tendency
the tendency
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to hunt their food
this
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hunting make them
healther
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healthier
and
also
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filfulled
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fulfils
their natural instinct.
Consequently
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, they think that
this
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act is unethical and cruel. Other
people
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think the
zoo
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is a good place for family entertainment and
gathering
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gatherings
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that let
the
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apply
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ordinary
people
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to
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apply
show examples
learn and see
animal
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animals
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especially
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, especially
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rare species.
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Moreover
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Moreover,
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this
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entertainment can't make money for
government
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the government
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and attract
the
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apply
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tourist
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tourists
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for visiting
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to visit
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.
In addition
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, by keeping
animals
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in
Use synonyms
zoo
Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
show examples
we have better
opportunity
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opportunities
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to know about
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animals
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animals'
animal's
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habit
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habits
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,
Correct word choice
and instinct
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instinct
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instincts
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,
,
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apply
show examples
ability or lifestyle that means we will be able to provide better
cure
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cures
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or protection for
animals
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especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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for
animals
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that are in
dangerous
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danger
show examples
for
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of
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existence.
To conclude
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therefore
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some
people
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believe
that is
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immoral to keep
the
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apply
show examples
animal
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animals
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in
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zoo
Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
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only for
humans
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humans'
human's
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advantages
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advantage
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.
However
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other things
that
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apply
show examples
there is a visible positive aspect in
this
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issue like amusing
people
Use synonyms
or
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
study
Submitted by mehdi.kermani.mkgm on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction needs to clearly present the topic and provide a clear thesis statement. The conclusion should summarize the main points and provide a final thought.
task achievement
The response does not fully address all parts of the task. There should be a balanced discussion of both views, with specific examples and clear reasoning.
grammatical range
There are instances of grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that hinder the essay's clarity and coherence. Focus on using a wider range of sentence structures and tenses.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • captivity
  • natural habitat
  • artificial enclosures
  • genetic diversity
  • animal welfare
  • conservation efforts
  • endangered species
  • biodiversity
  • education platform
  • breeding programs
  • reintroduction
  • psychological suffering
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