Some people believe that children that commit crimes should be punished. Others think the parents should be punished instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In the contemporary world, many youngsters have been influenced by violent films or movies for a few decades.
This
tendency will have a negative impact on society. Therefore
, the public suggest
that they are responsible and would punish the youngsters. Change the verb form
suggests
While some
people believe that it is Correct word choice
Some
parents
to manage rather than punishment. This
essay will outline my views, provide relevant examples and conclude the essay.
To commence, I propose there is a major reason for children
taking
a role when they experience crime as reflecting. Change the verb form
to take
For instance
, some psychologists claimed that more and more youths took part in various wrongdoing
things when they watched Fix the agreement mistake
wrongdoings
some
violent movies in order to promote their images and draw attention to adults. Correct quantifier usage
apply
As a result
, numerous children
would prefer to take the wrong action in society, such
as stealing privacy. However
, children
should take their faults and have to improve their wrongdoings.
Even though the public indicate
the responsibility is young, some adults suppose that Change the verb form
indicates
parents
should be in charge. I suggest there is other
reason why Change the wording
another
parents
should play the right role in their young mature
. Replace the word
maturity
For example
, in Hong Kong, there are a few youngsters who have experienced stealing others' possessions for many years. Some social workers stated that they would like to take negative action in the
public Correct article usage
apply
as expressing
their desire. Change preposition
to express
Hence
, this
trend leads to disadvantages in society and reports that some parenting guidance is insufficient. For
this
reason, parents
should take the
responsibility Correct article usage
apply
instead
of punishing them and
could cause a lower- esteem Correct word choice
which
of
them.
In conclusion, based on the statements above, I believe that the public penalties Change preposition
in
of
Change preposition
for
children
and parents
also
should play the right role in guiding and educating them in
how to avoid some wrongdoings as well, rather than using Change preposition
on
penalty
. It is because Fix the agreement mistake
penalties
children
hope adults listen and understand them they
can improve in the future.Correct word choice
so they
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task response
The introduction and conclusion are present but need improvement in terms of clarity and relevance to the topic. The main points are supported, but there are issues with logical structure and coherence. Providing more relevant specific examples and comprehensive ideas will improve the task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clear logical progression and coherence. There are issues with linking words and sentence structure. Revising the essay to improve the logical flow and coherence will enhance the score for coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
The lexical resource in the essay needs improvement. There are issues with vocabulary usage and word choice. Using a wider range of vocabulary and more precise word choices will elevate the lexical resource score.
grammatical range
There are numerous grammatical errors in the essay, including sentence structure, verb tense, and word form. Revising the essay for better grammatical accuracy and variety will increase the grammatical range score.