Some people believe that children that commit crimes should be punished. Others think the parents should be punished instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the contemporary world, many youngsters have been influenced by violent films or movies for a few decades.
This
tendency will have a negative impact on society.
Therefore
, the public
suggest
Change the verb form
suggests
show examples
that they are responsible and would punish the youngsters.
While some
Correct word choice
Some
show examples
people believe that it is
parents
to manage rather than punishment.
This
essay will outline my views, provide relevant examples and conclude the essay.  To commence, I propose there is a major reason for
children
taking
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to take
show examples
a role when they experience crime as reflecting.
For instance
, some psychologists claimed that more and more youths took part in various
wrongdoing
Fix the agreement mistake
wrongdoings
show examples
things when they watched
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
violent movies in order to promote their images and draw attention to adults.
As a result
, numerous
children
would prefer to take the wrong action in society,
such
as stealing privacy.
However
,
children
should take their faults and have to improve their wrongdoings.  Even though the public
indicate
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indicates
show examples
the responsibility is young, some adults suppose that
parents
should be in charge. I suggest there is
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
reason why
parents
should play the right role in their young
mature
Replace the word
maturity
show examples
.
For example
, in Hong Kong, there are a few youngsters who have experienced stealing others' possessions for many years. Some social workers stated that they would like to take negative action in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
as expressing
Change preposition
to express
show examples
their desire.
Hence
,
this
trend leads to disadvantages in society and reports that some parenting guidance is insufficient.
For
this
reason,
parents
should take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsibility
instead
of punishing them
and
Correct word choice
which
show examples
could cause a lower- esteem
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
them.  In conclusion, based on the statements above, I believe that the public penalties
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
children
and
parents
also
should play the right role in guiding and educating them
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
how to avoid some wrongdoings as well, rather than using
penalty
Fix the agreement mistake
penalties
show examples
. It is because
children
hope adults listen and understand them
they
Correct word choice
so they
show examples
can improve in the future.
Submitted by jimmy.wong.wp on

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task response
The introduction and conclusion are present but need improvement in terms of clarity and relevance to the topic. The main points are supported, but there are issues with logical structure and coherence. Providing more relevant specific examples and comprehensive ideas will improve the task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
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lexical resource
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grammatical range
There are numerous grammatical errors in the essay, including sentence structure, verb tense, and word form. Revising the essay for better grammatical accuracy and variety will increase the grammatical range score.

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