Some people think women should be given equal chances to work and excel in their careers. Others believe that a woman’s role should be limited to taking care of the house and children. Which opinion do you agree with and why? Include specific details and examples to support your choice.
It is evident from the research that females are giving tough
competetion
to Correct your spelling
competition
male dominated
society by outshining in almost every domain which was not the same case a few years back when Add a hyphen
male-dominated
women
were considered only homemakers doing all household chores along with
kid's
Change noun form
kid
care
.Some folks believe that ladies should be granted with
equivalent opportunities Change preposition
apply
like
their opposite counterparts. Change preposition
to
However
, opponets
think that they should focus more on child and homecare Correct your spelling
opponents
work
. This
essay will discuss both
views in detail.
To embark with, having similar responsibilities like
men's will bring an Change preposition
to
avalnache
of benefits to Correct your spelling
avalanche
women
and the entire society.Means
thatCorrect pronoun usage
This means
,
it will become easy for the couple to live a comfortable life if Remove the comma
apply
both
of them work
at similar positions which offers
them Change the verb form
offer
best
Correct article usage
the best
renumerations
. Correct your spelling
remuneration
remunerations
This
will be only possible, if females receive equal work
rights form
the community and industry.To illustrate, the Correct your spelling
from
statics
revealed by the Canada Economic Index Department Correct your spelling
statistics
shows
that Correct subject-verb agreement
show
both
working men and women
bolster to boost the country's economy.
On the other hand
, undoubtedly, the
child Correct article usage
apply
care
is also
vital for the holistic development of the
toddlers. Because of demanding Correct article usage
apply
work
sometime
it becomes cumbersome for Replace the word
sometimes
both
parents to spend time with their little ones which results in drastically impacting the smaller ones
mental health. SinceChange noun form
ones'
one's
,
no one can provide Remove the comma
apply
care
like a mother, so it is considerable that women
spend time in
fostering Change preposition
apply
children's
. Change noun form
children
For example
, a study by Oxford University revealed that children blessed with mother care
are more agile and intellectual than the one
raised in day Correct pronoun usage
ones
care's
.
In conclusion, I think that Change the noun form
cares
care
both
the options discussed above have their own banes and boon
. I advocate that a blended approach should be taken to cultivate a plethora of benefits.Fix the agreement mistake
boons
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which helps in presenting your ideas in a structured manner. However, ensure that there is a more seamless transition between your ideas and paragraphs for better logical flow.
task achievement
While you have provided relevant examples, try to elaborate on them more to make your argument stronger and more convincing. Adding more detailed explanations can help enhance the clarity of your ideas.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, presenting both viewpoints clearly.
relevant specific examples
Using statistics and research, such as the Canada Economic Index Department and Oxford University studies, strengthens your argument and demonstrates your point effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.