IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The given bar chart illustrates the percentage of residents’ coffee and tea purchasing and consuming habits in last 4 weeks in five different cities (Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, and Hobart) in Australia.

The given bar chart illustrates the percentage of residents’ coffee and tea purchasing and consuming habits in last 4 weeks in five different cities (Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, and Hobart) in Australia.
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The bar chart depicts the survey output about
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea consumption habits (buying and drinking) in five
Austarlian
Correct your spelling
Australian
 cities over the
last
Linking Words
 4 weeks period.
Overall
Linking Words
, the residents
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 to consume
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea served at
café
Use synonyms
s
while
Linking Words
 the fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 was the least.
In addition
Linking Words
, Sydney residents bought the most fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Hobart consumed the most
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 .
However
Linking Words
, people who lived in Melbourne visited café more often compared to 4
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 cities. In Sydney, the
number
Use synonyms
 of people
consumed
Correct pronoun usage
who consumed
show examples
 fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 was around 44%
while
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 who bought
instant
Use synonyms
 products was just over 45%.
Conversely
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 who visited café nearly
double
Wrong verb form
doubled
show examples
 which accounted for 60%.
Likewise
Linking Words
,
Melboure
Correct your spelling
Melbourne
 had
similar
Add an article
a similar
show examples
 pattern, making up
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
approximately 47%
Use synonyms
instant
Change preposition
of instant
show examples
coffee
Use synonyms
) and nearly a half for
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
, respectively
while
Linking Words
went
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 to café was about 64%. Regarding Brisbane and Adelaide, Both cities purchased fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 just over
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 consumed by the residents and the proportion of visiting café in Brisbane was higher, reaching about 53% and 56% respectively
while
Linking Words
Change preposition
in adelaide
show examples
adelaide
Change the capitalization
Adelaide
show examples
 just under 50%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Hobart showed a huge discrepancy which
has
Verb problem
was
show examples
 around 37% for fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 consumption
while
Linking Words
 visiting café was higher, nearly twofolds.
This
Linking Words
 area
also
Linking Words
the
Add a missing verb
has the
show examples
 highest
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 consumption, reaching approximately 54%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, instant, café, number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • residents
  • habits
  • purchasing
  • consuming
  • illustrates
  • comparison
  • preferences
  • trend
  • frequency
  • café culture
  • observations
  • urban lifestyle
  • fresh coffee
  • instant coffee
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