The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from

 sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and

 make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram illustrates the manufacturing
process
which converting
sugar
cane to
sugar
.
Overall
, the
process
of producing
sugar
cane consists of 7 stages starting with growing and ending up with drying and cooling. First of all,
sugar
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
are growing
Wrong verb form
grows
show examples
within 12 to 18 months which height is taller enough, after that the farmers harvest them by using
tractor
Add an article
a tractor
show examples
or by themselves. In the third
process
,
sugar
cane is
crush
Wrong verb form
crushed
show examples
in the machine and
converting
Wrong verb form
converted
show examples
into
juice
. The next step
named
Verb problem
called
show examples
purifying
juice
,
starting
Wrong verb form
starts
show examples
by putting
juice
in a limestone filter to fill out the unused elements.
In addition
, after using the filter,
juice
is put in an evaporator and
heat
Wrong verb form
heated
show examples
to change it into syrup.
Next,
sugar
crystals are separated from syrup in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
process
called centrifuge.
The
Change preposition
In the
show examples
final stage,
sugar
is dried and cooled within the cup. When
this
process
finished
Add a missing verb
is finished
show examples
,
sugar
is sold and used by people.
Submitted by fah on

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words process, sugar, juice with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturing process
  • sugar cane
  • harvesting
  • transporting
  • factory
  • crushing
  • extracting
  • juice
  • filtering
  • impurities
  • heating
  • evaporating
  • syrup
  • boiling
  • crystallizing
  • sugar
  • separating
  • drying
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • stage
  • process
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