In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
Many
people
can live longer into their old age, causing a rise in the number of older Use synonyms
people
, which some Use synonyms
people
argue will be challenging for governments. In my opinion, I contend that an ageing population will lead to negative consequences, particularly for the economy and business sectors.
Governments will face more economic problems because they are obligated to improve healthcare systems in order to provide older Use synonyms
people
with better medical treatments and necessities. Use synonyms
Thus
, more money will be spent by governments to cover their insurance, which will result in high national expenditures. Linking Words
Moreover
, most companies will be threatened since they will struggle to find potential workers to employ, as older workers are unable to work long-term because of their health limitations. Linking Words
For instance
, a company in Indonesia cannot run smoothly Linking Words
due to
a lack of workers, especially young ones.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, older Linking Words
people
can prepare the young generation by giving them life lessons, which can be useful for their futures. Use synonyms
This
is because they are more experienced and knowledgeable, and can lead them. Linking Words
In addition
, they can help shape young Linking Words
people
into resilient Use synonyms
people
with many capabilities, which provides them with promising futures if they can apply the lessons properly. One of my friends, Use synonyms
for example
, has learned numerous valuable insights from her grandparents, mainly about survival skills. Linking Words
Consequently
, these have helped her overcome unexpected situations, Linking Words
such
as when she was lost in a forest.
Linking Words
To conclude
, I believe that the drawbacks of an ageing population will eventually overshadow the benefits since it greatly impacts certain sectors, which can probably cause severe issues, Linking Words
while
life lessons can be obtained from anywhere, not only from the elderly, and Linking Words
therefore
will not be as impactful as the downsides.Linking Words
Submitted by hanalyaa29 on
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task achievement
Ensure a more balanced discussion by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of an aging population more comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
Use more varied and advanced linking words to better connect ideas across paragraphs.
task achievement
Try to develop your arguments further with more detailed examples and analysis.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that frame the discussion well.
task achievement
You maintained a clear focus on the question throughout your response.
coherence cohesion
The points made in each paragraph are generally well-organized and relevant to the topic.