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Band 6.5

Some people believe that children should start school at a very young age, while others think they should begin when they are older. What is your opinion on this?

#people #children #school #age
Schools have a vital role in enhancing
children
's education. It is widely debated whether they have a critical function in improving their
skills
, with some people believing that kids should start going to
school
 at a very young
age
,
while
 others argue that they believe that the older they are, the better it is for them. From my perspective, I believe that there is a standard
age
 for kids to go to
school
, and every parent should follow
this
 rule, as I believe that it enhances their
skills
 and their personalities. The first reason I hold
this
 opinion is that it has a great effect on
children
's
skills
 and talents.
For example
, several
children
 discovered their
skills
 at a young
age
, which is the standard
age
 of nearly 6 or 7 years old;
however
,
this
 assists them in improving and promoting their
skills
.
This
 shows that discovering your talent at a young
age
 provides you an opportunity to develop it whether, in music, arts, or sports, what matters is developing creativity in the chosen field. Another essential reason for my viewpoint is giving the opportunity to foster relationships among
children
. Research shows that when kids interact with peers of the same
age
 it helps them develop better social understanding.
On the other hand
, interacting with people of different ages may make it harder for them to connect with each other.
This
 shows that even the tiniest factors can have a significant impact on
children
's lives. In conclusion,
while
 several people believe that
children
 should start
school
 at a very young
age
, others argue with that belief, they think that it should begin when they are older.
To conclude
, I firmly believe that there is a rule showing at what
age
 they have to start
school
, so every parent should follow it to improve their
skills
,
moreover
, because it has a significant effect.
Submitted by talahakoura27 on

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task achievement
Clarify your position earlier in the introduction to enhance the thesis statement's clarity and ensure a focused essay throughout.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words more effectively to help guide the reader through your argument and improve the coherence of your essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view, considering both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured, with clear introduction and conclusion sections.
task achievement
Uses relevant examples to support arguments, which improves depth of discussion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • social skills
  • learning disabilities
  • natural development
  • family bonding
  • competitive edge
  • formal education
  • Scandinavian countries
  • academic performance
  • balanced approach
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