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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that children should start school at a very young age, while others think they should begin when they are older. What is your opinion on this?

#people #children #school #age
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Schools have a vital role in enhancing
children
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's education. It is widely debated whether they have a critical function in improving their
skills
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, with some people believing that kids should start going to
school
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 at a very young
age
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,
while
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 others argue that they believe that the older they are, the better it is for them. From my perspective, I believe that there is a standard
age
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 for kids to go to
school
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, and every parent should follow
this
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 rule, as I believe that it enhances their
skills
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 and their personalities. The first reason I hold
this
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 opinion is that it has a great effect on
children
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's
skills
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 and talents.
For example
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, several
children
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 discovered their
skills
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 at a young
age
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, which is the standard
age
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 of nearly 6 or 7 years old;
however
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,
this
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 assists them in improving and promoting their
skills
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.
This
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 shows that discovering your talent at a young
age
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 provides you an opportunity to develop it whether, in music, arts, or sports, what matters is developing creativity in the chosen field. Another essential reason for my viewpoint is giving the opportunity to foster relationships among
children
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. Research shows that when kids interact with peers of the same
age
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 it helps them develop better social understanding.
On the other hand
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, interacting with people of different ages may make it harder for them to connect with each other.
This
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 shows that even the tiniest factors can have a significant impact on
children
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's lives. In conclusion,
while
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 several people believe that
children
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 should start
school
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 at a very young
age
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, others argue with that belief, they think that it should begin when they are older.
To conclude
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, I firmly believe that there is a rule showing at what
age
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 they have to start
school
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, so every parent should follow it to improve their
skills
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,
moreover
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, because it has a significant effect.
Submitted by talahakoura27 on

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task achievement
Clarify your position earlier in the introduction to enhance the thesis statement's clarity and ensure a focused essay throughout.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words more effectively to help guide the reader through your argument and improve the coherence of your essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view, considering both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured, with clear introduction and conclusion sections.
task achievement
Uses relevant examples to support arguments, which improves depth of discussion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • social skills
  • learning disabilities
  • natural development
  • family bonding
  • competitive edge
  • formal education
  • Scandinavian countries
  • academic performance
  • balanced approach
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