The graph below shows the average monthly use of health club in Miami and Florida by all full-time members in 2017. The pie charts show the age profile of male and female members of this health club.

#health #club #miami #florida #members #show #age #profile

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The graph provides information about the wield of fitness

centre

Fix the agreement mistake

centres

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in Miami and Florida in the year 2017, the data shown

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average, and the pie charts illustrate

Add an article

the profile

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profile

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profiles

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of male and

female'

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female

show examples

members

Change to a genitive case

member's

members'

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age

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ages

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Overall

Linking Words

, the graph experienced a

fluctuate

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fluctuating

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ward during

Correct article usage

the

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year, and the

member

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members

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club

Add an article

the club

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were dominated by

adult

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adults

show examples

. Looking at the bar chart, in general view the male

users

Use synonyms

of fitness centres were always higher than female

users

Use synonyms

although

Linking Words

the ward seems

sporradic

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sporadic

. The male

users

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hit a high of approximately 850 people in

Juny

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June

meanwhile

Add a comma

meanwhile,

show examples

the female

users

Use synonyms

only reach 700

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show examples

that month.

In addition

Linking Words

, the male

users

Use synonyms

reach

Wrong verb form

reached

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Change the article

the

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lowest point at 550 in February, before experiencing a growth until

Juny

Correct your spelling

June

. In terms of the aged category, male and female

users

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dominated with adult group,

however

Linking Words

, males

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

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made up the largest part of the chart than

female

Fix the agreement mistake

females

show examples

Moreover

Linking Words

, female

users

Use synonyms

in older age contributed the most to the chart.

Submitted by fatimanastitiniskala on Mon Nov 13 2023

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Vocabulary: Replace the words users with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

159 words

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The graph below shows the average monthly use of health club in Miami and Florida by all full-time members in 2017. The pie charts show the age profile of male and female members of this health club.

Grandparents should live independently. Do you agree or disagree?

At the present time,the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

some people agree with studying at home is better than studying at libraries, what do you think? do you agree or diagree

**Rising university fees and scarce employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philosophy and history, and only offer practical degree courses that maximise chances of employment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?**

Most people are not interested in how their food has been produced. They only care about how much it costs. How true is this statement? What influences people when they buy food?

Rising university fees and scarce employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philosophy and history, and only offer practical degree courses that maximise chances of employment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?